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Plato’s shed

I have confessed elsewhere to owning seven guitars*. They are:

  • Ibanez Artcore AF-125 archtop
  • Ibanez Artcore archtop bass guitar
  • Ibanez AEB-8E BL acoustic bass guitar
  • Admira electro-Spanish (‘nylon jazz’, it’s becoming quite popular!)
  • Peavey ‘Generation’ solidbody (Telecaster copy)
  • Grant solidbody (Les Paul copy)
  • A Japanese-made, Spanish-style guitar, no maker’s name.

*As of today, 8… oh, Lordy.

**Er, make that 9… no, 10…

Shaggy heads talking knowledgeably about guitars and luthiers lose my interest within about seven seconds. You too? I struggle with big fingers and unreliable co-ordination to play a guitar, let alone build one, although I did once try. I know hundreds of chords, although not what they are all called. I like the Brazilian chords best, they’re so simple yet subtly complicated at the same time. It’s how I’d like to think I am. Other people just think of me as big and angry. I like to find and combine new chords every day. My favourite is still Am7.

Why do I have seven guitars? My grandmother took me to Selmer in the Charing X Road on my 12th birthday and bought me my first guitar, I always remember the smell of the varnish, and the racks of gleaming guitar bodies. I like how feminine they look and find them in junk shops and get obsessed over the special offers mailed to me online by mail order sites I have used. And I can’t find a jazz piano player locally, I have to accompany myself somehow. Lots of musicians have many more guitars than I do, we’re a sad bunch. Fortunately I’ve not had enough money to spend on buying more.

This tiresome list is offered, like most stuff on the internet, only because it  exists; albeit within its own conceptual framework. Did Plato ever contemplate a realm of lists, I wonder? Did he own a shed? I shall be posting more of my thoughts about lists, you’ll be glad to hear.

Ranked in order of interest, of course.

Thank you.

Number eight: I’d just come from a guitar lesson and popped into the market on the way home, just because it’s there, and saw this really lovely folk-type Jumbo acoustic guitar on a stall. Not having one of those, I went straight round to the cashpoint. It’s labelled ‘DB Classic – Handmade ‘, Model SW207N, serial no. 00011. Completely clean and unmarked, it has an astonishing tone and fidelity. My dealer however tells me it is worthless, I wasted my £60.

Number nine: Epiphone ‘Sorrento’ (superior version of Gibson 125), dated 1962. Don’t ask! You can see it elsewhere, in my August posts. And now I want to sell it again, it’s worth half what I gave for it. Of course.

Number ten: Aria D’Aquisto ‘New Yorker’. The price of this superior instrument requires that I sell the other nine, immediately. Please call. (But I have succeeded in shifting the two acoustic basses. Probably because my dealer tells me no-one wants acoustic basses…)

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