Ask yurself, comrade, what’s the most important thing in life to yu, right now?
If yu said ‘money’, please come and allow me to remove strips off yur slobby, unshaven face and stuff them one by one up yur rectum, using this small hammerdrill I carry about my person for just such eventualities.
No, it is what money can BUY that is important, right? WRONG! There is nothing that money can huy, my brothers and sisters, that is more important than the air yu breathe.
Send $5 and receive, free, my Guide To the Air Yu Breathe and How to Get Rich From It. I rit it myself!
Right now, there’s a Force 8 gale blowing outside. That’s a powerful lot of air. I estimate that every liter of air is worth just 10 cents of yur life. Yu actually breathe 10 liters of air a minute! I mean, how ridiculous can that be? Just five minutes of yur time spent breathing, and yu could earn $3.375.90 a week! It’d change yur life for ever, right?
I just sent to the spam file, an idiot who keeps on trying to sell me on some other guy’s fabulous plan for earning $3,750 a week by sending emails to bloggers yu ‘like’, telling ’em they can make £3,750 a week. This guy says he used to live rough in a VW camper but since he had an idea, he has a palace in Costa Rica. He’s made a video about it. He sounds like the most plausible guy in the world, with his squeaky voice and all. Yu too could soon have a palace in Costa Rica, the place is stuffed with ’em, right? See, here’s a crumbling shanty town full of palaces just waitin for yu to own one. And the beauty is, no IRS! They can’t touch yu there!
Sure, but would yu want to live next door? Say, Dave, try pushin them dollar bills up yur nose, down yur throat, up yur ass. Live the dream, I say.