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My 250th post

Spoiler Alert

Hi y’all

For my ceremonious 250th Bogl Posting I’d like to explain, or try to explain, why I’m torturing myself like this.

You can take it seriously; or, in the spirit of the Mindbogl itself, not.

First, comes the grammar crusade. I’m the founder President of the Save the Semicolon Society, SSS. I’m a bit conflicted about that, because I’m also trying to Save the Adverbial Form (SAF) at the same time. (Notice how, in the previous sentence, I used an adverb, ‘seriously’, and followed it neatly with a semicolon. Eight points.) In these, my 250 Posts, you will find many semicolons (;) and many words ending in -ly, and other, more subtle adverbial forms, that qualify verbs.

It is deliberate, I assure you.

Both of these handy features have been disappearing late in common English usage, as anyone who has ever replied ‘I’m good’ when asked at the supermarket checkout how they are feeling today will testify. And so I use many more of them than are necessarily necessary; especially nowly.

I’m also hoping hopefully to Save Me (SME).

You may notice that, in my Bogl, I continually refer to myself. ‘I’ do this, ‘I’ do that. Such a thing is ‘mine’. Such a person is ‘me’. It is not a solipsism, it has nothing to do with the ‘Me generation’ and a Californian-style self-regarding narcissism funded by the therapy industry. No, it is because these Posts are highly personal to someone I know only as myself. So I am also the de facto President of the First Personal Pronoun Society, or Me.

I love WordPress and all who sail in her, but there are one or two matters I have to contend with. Apart from the impossibility of single-spacing any text with a hard line-break, as with a poem, it posts your Posts in reverse chronological order. For readers who may be a bit backward, that’s backwards.

So if, like me, you’re attempting to create an entirely new form of literature, the autobiography told as a series of personal reflections on contemporaneous but completely disconnected events, replete with semicolons and adverbs; current affairs linked to past moments in one’s life, not by personal experience but by synchronistic philology (you can tell, I’ve been at the fermented fruit again), then you have to start — where do you have to start, guys?

Right. AT THE OTHER END.

And, if you respect that, you will see that my life veers wildly between joy and despair, low comedy and high tragedy; vapidity and deep meaning. You will learn, if you have not already, that life is a game; and I know that that is your life too, and the lives of every other bugger on this planet.

So, forget the search for meaning. Find whatever gives you joy and cling to it for dear life.

Unfortunately, I forgot to.

Gute nacht, meine freunde

– Herr Professor Doktor Ernst P. von-und-zu Bogl (By Appointment)

(Emperor and Editor-in-Chief, The Boglington Post.)
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