Home » Backpacking in Thailand » Playing your cards right

Playing your cards right

  • From the Yahoo! Homepage column of Horoscopy:



    You can attract fame and acclaim through your social media presence. People take great delight from your witty postings and thoughtful commentary. Talking about your favourite writers, artists and musicians can attract a loyal following. If you play your cards right, you could be paid for your online presence. Put your communication skills to work. Investing in a good computer or smartphone will allow you to operate more quickly and efficiently. You might have to pay more than you expected.

  • If you play your cards right, you could be paid for your online presence.


Can you dig it, you all? Russell Grant is speaking directly to me!!! Wow. This is spooky stuff.

Fame and acclaim I don’t really seek. My ambition is for this, muh li’l bogl – all its witty postings and thoughtful commentary – to be discovered by the delighted reading public only after my death.

I’ve always had a soft spot for posthumously famous writers, artists and musicians. I don’t personally care to be pointed at in the street and whispered about and invited on talkshows and generally mistaken for someone more famous.

But if they want to dig me up from my pauper’s grave in the municipal parking lot up on the hill there, and rebury me in Westminster Abbey, I’d happily be the first blogger to go in Poet’s Corner.

Even while I’m alive, I’m a very private person. Curious, because I like to go on stage and act and sing and play parts labelled ‘First Old Loony’. But it’s not me, it’s just someone who sings and acts. After the show, I’ll slink away home and sit here with the lights off, gently drowning in wine until I stumble off to bed in the dark.

Part of me likes to hide in the dark. It knows it’s going to be punished for what it’s done. Whatever that was. It was when he was very small. The light’ll snap on suddenly one night, there I’ll be, doing whatever it was I shouldn’t. And they’ll lock me away forever.

While another part of me is thinking smugly, this is one in the eye for EDF Energy. They’ve been overbilling me for years for their rotten nuclear electricity. They had the nerve last month to tell me, oh sorry, we forgot to bill you for gas for the past three years, you owe us a thousand pounds. But we’ll knock it down to £250 if you sign up with us again… Blackmail.

So I opened all the unopened bills in the box in my wardrobe and find their billing is a complete mess-up, sometimes just electricity, sometimes gas AND electricity, and I can’t make head nor tail of it. All I can see is that my £44 a month contract has been costing me over £100 a month while nobody has ever read the meters because they’re too damned mean to hire someone.

Is this what old age comes to?

Money, unfortunately, is uppermost on my mind right now. My money finally ran out last month, and now I don’t have enough to pay bills. I’m supposed to get my Old Age Pension next month. It’s more than enough to live on, day-to-day. But it won’t tax the car or pay the bills.

I may be older, but I’m not senile. I saw it coming months ago, put everything I own up for sale, redoubled my efforts to find paid work. But it’s like a thick sock has been pulled over me and my life. Nothing is getting in or out. Nothing is moving or changing. Nothing works. I no longer even listen to jazz music.

Two guys offered me £600 for my car last week. I said yes to each in turn, but neither of them eventuated at the agreed time with the money. The guy who offered me £1250 for my lovely D’Aquisto guitar went away. After he came back last week, the offer was £1000 – take it or leave it, it’s a buyer’s market, no need to stand on pride….  I’ll leave it, thanks.

And the Benefits people I got onto, asking for help I am entitled to after 33 years of paying contributions told me yes, indeed I qualified for help. Since when, I have had a long, slow string of picky, pointless postal demands for this and that piece of information, evidence of nothing much, that they already have.

They are investigating me with a nit comb. Yet it is obvious I have nothing to investigate. My savings account is empty. My overdraft is full. What else do they need to know? It’s the Tory culture of bullying the poorest while their friends in the City gorge on seven-figure bonuses.

But I’ll take fame and acclaim if I have to. It’d be something different. Could even be money, if I play my cards right.

And all I have to do is write about my favourite writers, artists and musicians.

Easy, that’s me!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.