Home » Ain't life great. » My absence: an ex-planetary note

My absence: an ex-planetary note

My army of Spammers, Likers, Adhesives and Followers has written to ask why there have been no new interesting Postings for the past two weeks?

Have I broken down, died or gone away?

All three, probably. The fact is, I just didn’t notice the time passing so quickly. Is it the Ides of March already? Did I miss Mothers’ Day – again? I shall return (c. Gen. Douglas MacArthur) when my Posting brain catches up and has something pertinent to report.

In the meantime, here are a few Post-it notes to whet your appetites:

(A Lenten lament: Rather than giving up drinking exactly one bottle of wine every night, I wish that I could instead have given up browsing online for expensive guitars….)

(Damned statistics: On 7th March, this, muh li’l bogl, received a three-year record one-day total of 59 hits. Yesterday, just one. And guess what they were all for? That’s right….)

(Where’s Vladimir?: Not-entirely unofficially, rumours are going round that Russian President, Vladimir Putin, who has not been seen in public for the past ten days, has been kidnapped by aliens. He wouldn’t be the first head of state to….) (Postscriptum: Q. Which Transylvanian prince was eaten by a lion? A. Vlad the Impala!)

(Call me Mr Floppy: Finding myself recently in the unexpected position of being invited to engage in personal intimacy, I find to my dismay that my once formidable engine of reproduction is no longer competent to breach the citadel, as it were….)

(Money, the new sex #2: Mr Grant Shapps MP, chair of the Conservative party, is reported to have carried on an undeclared business using an assumed name. A recording has emerged of Mr Shapps proposing to make ‘a ton of money by Christmas’….)

(Welcome home: Low-wattage judges handing down inordinately lengthy gaol sentences to teenage Muslim baboons resiled from their idiotic decisions to go help IS slaughter religious minorities in Iraq is hardly going to ameliorate the radicalisation problem….)

(More as I think of them….)

Toodle pip!

– UB


For some peculiar reason, overnight my ratings have shot up again, as somebody has been creeping around The Boglington Post office, apparently in the dark, reading lots of old stuff, introductory matter and scraps of poor poetry listed in the headings that isn’t anything to do with these, muh Posts. It is as if someone buys a newspaper only to read the running order and fails to take the slightest notice of what is on the front page – in this case, 427 fine Posts (searchable by date and topic) of entertainment, elucidation and instruction.

Bizarre. Look under HOME!!!!!!!



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