Home » Backpacking in Thailand » The Pumpkin – Issue 11: The environmental crimes of Donald J Trump. Not microwaving, but moaning. And another Russian bank, O Lord.

The Pumpkin – Issue 11: The environmental crimes of Donald J Trump. Not microwaving, but moaning. And another Russian bank, O Lord.

(Offensive language warning. Look away now if you are easily upset by liberals who say unkind things about President Trump.)

Let’s just kill everything, Steve says it’s easier to start from scratch. Squiggle-wiggle.

The environmental crimes of Donald J Trump

President Trump is worse than a murderer.

Lock him up good.

This trainwreck of a President, this incompetent, pig-ignorant, foul-mouthed man, widely accused of money-laundering, sanctions-busting and connections with organized crime; a vainglorious, Satanic orange slug you could easily mistake for dog-crap, with a brain made of congealed greed and a tongue stiff with lies, an overgrown spoiled semiliterate brat with ADHD, easily distracted by shiny things, owing vast sums to pliable foreign bankers, has in less than two months done more to ensure the extinction of life on earth than the next asteroid impact.

(Of course, should it be confirmed that he has senile dementia, I will apologise.)

Does he even know it, given he believes anything he hears on InfoWars and signs everything Steve Bannon shoves in front of him?

He is an ecocide: a world-criminal; a Dementor. Someone who should be seized, head shaved, zippered into an outsize orange jumpsuit and dragged in shackles and handcuffs before the International Court on capital charges of crimes against humanity, before being publicly hanged on global reality TV wearing only a pair of Argyll socks with pink suspenders.

What good has he done anyone, except to have the Chinese bail out $250 million debts of his little plastic son-in-law, Kushner, his ‘White House advisor’, who made an ill-judged property investment in 2007 that orange daddy couldn’t fix ‘cos he too had gone tits up?

His insistence that Obamacare should be abandoned before anyone had come up with an actual plan to replace it, to back up his lies on the campaign trail that such a plan existed and it would be ‘the greatest plan ever’, providing the most people with ‘the greatest care in the world’, his ignorance and overweening vanity, his hatred of his racially impure predecessor, his insane need to do him down at any cost, have condemned hundreds of thousands of even his own Dumbfuck supporters to an early death.

He doesn’t care. He doesn’t even know it. He’s a complete amateur, an over-geared small businessman who has never worked for anyone but himself; never run a large organisation of any kind; never been subjected to critical assessment; never had to sort out anyone else’s problems: a weak-minded, poorly educated, reality TV-show compère in the grip of evil forces plotting the downfall of the American republic.

And you voted for it. The decrepit man-baby with his tiny index finger on the nuclear button. The plastic children running riot, growing their shitty business interests untramelled from offices in the sacred White House, polluting your democracy.

You dumb fucks.

But all that ineptitude and vainglory pales into insignificance when compared with another threat he poses, literally to the future of the human race; and much other life on the planet.

(Understand, I’m writing this off the top of my head because every time I start Googling stories related to his criminal lunacy I just get more and more links to more sites speculating about his astounding venality and desperate willingness to please evil authoritarian men, like his dad, like Putin; while not paying his debts.)

Among the environmental crimes this Putin-inspired American Carnage has already announced, I recall statements concerning just these actions among possibly many more (later additions dated):

  • An Order signed by Secretary Pruitt, 03 April, preventing a ban coming into effect next month on pesticide Clorpyrifos, known to inhibit brain development in unborn children, despite many reports on the danger. Why? A $1m donation from Dow AgroSciences might have helped.
  • A pledge to the US car industry to scrap the ’54 mpg performance’ target set to help reduce CO2 vehicle emissions by 9 billion tonnes a year, that they are already close to meeting. “Bad for jobs.” – no evidence of that, quite the contrary.
  • A pledge to row back on the Paris accord setting an ideal (already exceeded) 1.5 deg C. worldwide warming limit, signed by 179 nations, arguing that ‘climate change is bullshit’.
  • The removal of any other carbon reduction targets.
  • The relaxing of consumer protections on a wide range of goods and services; and (among other rules), presumably the requirement for banks to hold sufficient capital; the removal of banking regulations and oversight bodies.
  • The dismantling of the Environment Protection Agency and the Parks Departments. (The vast National Parks are a cherished American heritage. Trump’s executive orders open them up to exploitation and industrial development.)
  • Permits to drill on Federal land, and in the formerly protected areas of the Alaskan arctic (where there are massive methane deposits; trillions of tonnes just waiting to be released to the atmosphere).
  • The removal of protections for wildlife and endangered species, including: ending restricted areas and seasonal bans on hunting, permitting the taking of cubs, the use of automatic weapons and shooting wolves and bears from helicopters. (This is a completely insane, sadistic order that surely must be resisted by genuine hunters?)
  • Ditto, laws regarding the proper care of domestic animals including dogs, cats and – in the USA? You’re shitting me! – horses.
  • Overturning a requirement for oil and gas companies to declare payments to even the most kleptocratic foreign governments for drilling rights.
  • Imposition of a ban on two thousand government-employed scientists publishing or presenting the results of climate research.
  • Another ban on EPA, Parks Department and NASA earthwatch departments issuing press releases and other public information relating to environmental and climate issues. The winding down of staff; a 32 per cent budget cut to start with.
  • Appointment as advisor to the transition team of toxic Washington swamp creature, rent-a-liar Exxon-Mobil lobbyist and rancid climate-change denier, Myron Ebell.
  • Nomination of  Chief Scientist, Prof. William Happer who argues that all papers published by climate scientists must be ‘vetted’. Not peer-reviewed: ‘vetted’.
  • Appointment as Secretary for Environment of Oklahoma’s Attorney-General Scott Pruitt, notorious climate-change denier and frequent litigant on behalf of energy-extracting interests against the EPA, known or thought to be in the pocket of third-worst polluting energy conglomerate, Koch Industries.
  • Removal of Reagan-era ban on polluting waterways with coal slurry, benefitting £100 billion Koch brothers’ mining interests.
  • Appointment as Secretary of State of Mr Rex Tillerson, CEO and long-term company servant of Exxon-Mobil; known or thought to be negotiating with Russia’s Rosneft over drilling concessions in the Arctic, for which the removal of sanctions would be required. Even in office, Tillerson stands to benefit substantially from any rise in Exxon stock. According to Fortune magazine:

    “His biggest conflict by far is his huge interest in Exxon, through the direct ownership of about $54 million worth of shares, plus another $175 million in a financial contract called restricted stock units (RSUs). Those units entitle Tillerson to receive Exxon shares in the future for his past years of service.”

  • To remove ‘Obama-era’ economic and travel sanctions on Russia; and to blind-eye covert Russian military operations in Ukraine, to achieve the aim stated above.
  • Granting permission for the construction of controversial Dakota Access and Keystone XL pipelines to bring dirty oil from hugely polluting Canadian tar-sands extraction sites 1,900 miles overland to refineries and exporting ports in Texas.
  • Appointment as Attorney-General (i.e. the man who could turn a blind eye to the behaviour of energy companies and developers, and savagely prosecute protestors) of supine and compliant Confederate-era throwback, Jefferson Beauregard ‘Jeff’ Sessions 111.
  • Removal and non-replacement of long-serving officials from the State Department and federal agencies ensuring weakened oversight, loss of global influence, confusion and lack of continuity.
  • A (so far) failed attempt to abolish the House ethics committee.
  • Removing controls on methane releases from extractive activities.

Yes, these are all genuine ordinances, as far as I can tell, that have come out of the not-so White House since he took office. I’ll be adding more as you or I think of them – or as Orange Satan himself does.

(Incidentally, Mr Trump has taken three different positions on climate change: it’s a hoax, it might be true but scientists don’t agree, and it’s probably true, but it will hurt the American economy to do anything about it (actually the opposite would be true). Showing that a) he doesn’t know what it is, b) his friends are urging him to ignore it, and c) he doesn’t give a fuck anyway.


The Koch Brothers. Charles (l.) and David, on vacation in California. 1927.

Meanwhile, I recommend you visit Arctic.news.blogspot.co.uk for the latest updates on Arctic methane emissions (highest ever), ocean temperatures (up12 deg C.), ice cover (lowest ever); 50 deg. C. anomalies and the second El Niño (warming Pacific) event in two years, that has already begun.

And you could follow that up with some new Chinese research into the severe smog event that covered an area the size of Europe with choking, poisonous fumes for weeks on end this winter:

“The work is the latest to show that changes in the rapidly warming Arctic are already leading to severe impacts for hundreds of millions of people across North America, Europe and Asia. The US has also seen a rise in episodes of stagnant air, which may be leading to higher air pollution there.” – The Guardian Today


But the poor old car industry, having to produce fuel-efficient cars – now, helping their shareholders to survive is more important than your grandchildren’s lives, isn’t it? And the $100 billion Charles and David Koch have personally got stuffed under the mattress, piled eighty feet high, above sea level? Give ’em a break. They work hard a diggin’ that good, clean American coal. They deserve it.

America, you’re being screwed by this murdering, tax finagling Antichrist and his shitty administration of Russian-employed Deplorables.

And you’re not the only ones. We have to share this planet with you, fuck you.

Dearly beloved

A minor theme began to emerge from some of the nasty things I’ve been writing about that nice Mr Trump and his clean-living friends. You know how they’re all religous nutters? Well, Trump isn’t, but religious nutters love him anyway, bringin’ on dem End Times, Jedoof poppin’ up agin to judge them sinners Gorsuch can’t reach. Not Trump, of course.

So anyway, I went online… and found as ever I’d been beaten to it.

Alleged wife-beater Donald Trump picks two other alleged wife-beaters for his administration

That’s from The Palmer Report. In total:

  • Vladimir Putin recently supported a change in the law, decriminalising wife-beating.
  • President Erdogan recently supported a change in the law, decriminalising wife-beating.
  • Trump has three times been accused of violence, including rape, towards his wives. Allegations withdrawn.
  • His cabinet pick for Employment (Labour) Secretary, Andrew Puzder, once labelled America’s Worst Employer, has frequently been accused of beating his wife and once claimed he was only ‘drunk-driving’ as a defence against an assault charge after an incident in the car. (I believe he’s resiled from his nomination because of it.)
  • Steve Bannon was accused of assaulting his wife, but for some reason she left the state before she could testify and the charge was dropped.

But it’s okay, the Bible says so.

“There is a subculture called “Christian Domestic Discipline” that promotes corporal punishment of wives by husbands. While its advocates appeal to the Bible to support their views, the movement has also been described as a form of S&M and there is a FetLife page devoted to it. It has also been described as inherently abusive and as primarily appealing to mentally disturbed individuals.”


Look out, ladies, here come the Christian husbands!


“What I can say is there are many ways to surveil each other now, unfortunately, including “microwaves that turn into cameras, etc,” Conway told New Jersey’s The Record newspaper in an interview on Sunday. “So we know that that is just a fact of modern life.”


Ohmigod, before I could learn to pronounce Lollykanne… Kollyanne… Pollyanna… Skellytanne, whatever, my boring old microwave just turned into a camera.

And I thought it was a TV set (© Sarah Palin, 2011). Hot dang.

Instead of heating my disgusting Morrison’s ready meal – I generally buy them only when I have a busy evening ahead and no time to not have to survive on par-broiled dogshit accompanied by Uncle Ben’s 2-minute racist rice with added hominy grits and black-eye peas – I could swear it was watching me.

“You don’t really know how to operate me, do you?” said a tinny, accusing voice that seemed to be emanating from an area with holes at the side. “You’re a technocretin.”

No I’m not, I replied hotly. “I’ve got a media degree and stuff!”

“So how come you just pressed the shutter button to start the video instead of the four-minute defrost? How come you just took a picture of yourself looking puzzled as you tried to work out how to reset the timer once you’d accidentally put me into time-delay mode and I wouldn’t switch on, huh?”

“Er… did you just see me pouring a large vodka and tonic?” I asked, nervously.

“You mean the third one? Yeah, sure. I’ve already sent a memo to your GP surgery, they’ve no-platformed you. Don’t say you weren’t warned.”

The data were already on their way to Langley, Va, via GCHQ in Cheltenham, an agreeable and thoroughly civilized Regency spa town in the west of England marked for instant nuclear obliteration thanks to the secretive toroidal building on its outskirts, the ear on the world that we don’t talk about.

I was a marked man too; someone without a Facebook account, found nowhere on Instagram, inked-out of Linked-in; having no idea what Snapchat or Deliveroo is; someone who bought a harmonica on Amazon last night out of sheer boredom, just to get a parcel, evidencing an eclectic browsing history no secret new Google NoCaptcha algorithm could make head or tail of; now revealed to be completely ignorant of the operation of my old Panasonic micro-whatsit pungent with last week’s fish, dessicated shreds of exploded salmon fillet still clinging to the walls and ceiling.

What more suspicious invidual could there be, you wonder?

“You’re a member of The Resistance,” intoned the microwave, accusingly. “Give us the names of your accomplices, if you know what’s good for you!”

The box emitted a burst of microwaves that came close to frying my liver. “That’s just a warning, Bogler!” it snarled, menacingly. “So what are you going to write about Donald Trump tonight, eh? It had better be good. Real nice. I have some good news stories you can put about. For instance, I just created another million jobs. So good, lotsa people goin’ back to work, 45 per cent employed, 50 per cent, maybe 55… tell your friends. (Hey, I just got a retweet from some guy in England. Do we let them in still?)”

The microwave panned around the room taking in the unwashed dishes, the rumpled and stained tablecloth, the dried splotches of old catfood on the grimy timber flooring; the unopened statements, the air of depression.

“Oh, I forgot, you don’t have any, do you?”

“Fake News!” I cried. “So fake!”

With a final ping, the cooker light went out. I stood there in the dark, wanting to cry. How come this gibbering Conway bimbo has a job, and I don’t?

“America the beautiful… from shore to slimy shore…”


So now there’s yet another investigation going on into Trump’s financial connections with Russia. Does it never end?

A report on TYT quoting CNN yesterday quoting practically everybody else on the internet as the story goes viral introduces us to yet another name, Alfa – one of the biggest banks in Russia, said to be Mr Putin’s private fiefdom.

Unusual lookup traffic has apparently been observed running continuously between Alfa Bank’s server and a server located in a small town in Pennsylvania, whose ownership has been traced back to the Trump Organization.

No-one seems to know what is in that traffic, but it seems to be almost a dedicated server, as 80% of the traffic is from Alfabank – far too high to be accidental. Is it email – or is it data? Is it fan mail, or is it financial information, like money movements?

In a further intriguing detail, it’s reported that most of the other 20% – we can presumably rule out a few spams for viagra and winks from an orange dating site – comes from a healthcare company that looks very much like spinoff from his old Amway do-it-yourself health products pyramid-selling operation, Spectrum Health.

Yes, pop-up again ‘Dick’ DeVos, the multibillionaire Republican party and Trump campaign donor ($22 million) whose wife Betsy got made Education Secretary, despite apparently not knowing the first thing about public education except that it’s not worth wasting federal budget on the coloured folks and the Dumbfucks. (True, they have created a number of scholarships for budding Christian entrepreneurs like themselves, and own at least one company hounding down student debtors).

Both the DeVos’s do however know quite a lot about the healthcare market.

Now, emails from a healthcare company could well be the viagra spam connection, I have no idea. Or it may be professional advice, how to structure what we’re not being encouraged to call ‘Trump-care’ to ensure the private clinic sector gets more traffic at higher prices from the insurers after Obamacare has ended up in the sterile bin, and 24 million Americans are abandoned to Jesus.

Its website describes Spectrum Health as a full-service private medical business located in Grand Rapids, Michigan, DeVos’s hometown. One of its services is a phone-in diagnostic and recommendation service for non-life-threatening conditions. For 45 bucks they’ll tell you to take two paracetamol and go to bed. That sounds like Amway.

Is Trump possibly getting medical treatment on the quiet from Spectrum? Knowing as we do that he almost certainly faked his medical reference, telling everyone he was the healthiest Presidential candidate ever? The Pumpkin would love to know.

But that’s probably not it either.

“Alfa Bank JSC, the corporate treasury of the Alfa Group, is the largest private commercial bank in Russia. It was founded by Russian businessman Mikhail Fridman, who is still the controlling owner today. It is headquartered in Moscow. It operates in seven countries, providing financial services to over 40,000 active corporate customers and 5.3 million retail clients. Alfa Bank is particularly active in Russia and Ukraine, ranking among top 10 largest banks in terms of capital in both countries.” – Wikipedia

What does Mr Trump’s organisation have to do with a major Russian bank? A Ukrainian national, Fridman (net worth $18 billion) has fingers in many pies, principally oil and banking. And he’s long been one of Putin’s magic circle. From Forbes Magazine:

“What’s fascinating is how many of these billionaires have some sort of connection to Russian President Vladimir Putin. Mikhail Fridman, Viktor Vekselberg, Len Blavatnik, German Khan, Alexei Kuzmichev and Pyotr Aven each made a billion or more selling their stakes in oil giant TNK-BP to Kremlin-controlled Rosneft.”

And those sales, we know, form part of a mosaic of divestments from the public sector of a whole range of commodities formerly controlled by the Soviet State, from sales of which to the private sector Mr Putin has allegedly amassed a personal fortune close to $100 billion.

But it still doesn’t get us closer to a connection with Mr Trump, other than someone not a million miles from the President of the United States of America seems to be using one of his company servers as a dedicated pipeline to or from Alfa Bank – which also has branches in the USA, including a major investment arm in New York; and to the DeVos’s Spectrum healthcare company. So there may be nothing to it. Share price movements? Horse-racing tips? Travel offers?

A clue to a different coincidence is however to be found in the following report in Fortune magazine:

“…the bank (Alfa) has in any case been run at a respectable arm’s length from the corporate skulduggery its owners have engaged in elsewhere. Its founder, Mikhail Fridman, has now largely cut his links with the country where he made his billions. He has applied for permanent residency in the UK, and said in July that he intends to invest most of what he made selling his ($billions, remember?) share of oil company TNK-BP in U.S. healthcare…”


Maybe we’re barking up the wrong tree?


Taxing square

So he paid $38 million in tax in 2005?

He’s reported to be steaming that the return was leaked. How embarrassing, when you built your case to the electorate on being too smart to pay tax. And when you’re about to scrap the special billionaire tax rule he had to pay it under.

But even $150 million a year income doesn’t, I’m afraid, make anyone a ‘billionaire’. Trump’s indebtedness probably makes him a negative billionaire; but as he appears to have no intention of paying the banks back, what does it matter? Same difference.

While on analysis, the $38 million appears to be a chimera. Analysts have noticed that the sum seems significant. They’ve worked out that he might have paid $5 million tax on his declared $150 million income, after offsetting against £100 million ‘losses’ (the Great Businessman!) – the rest being invested in an IRS scheme for the mega-rich, allowing them to not actually pay the tax owed this year, but to park it in escrow and pay it whenever the time is more convenient; in the meanwhile hanging on to any interest earned.

So fake. But did he release the papers himself? It wouldn’t be the first time he’s pretended to be a leaker, or his own PR agent. And now the rest of the media are wondering, was Rachel Maddow at MSNBC, who broke the story, deliberately fed with the two pages, the most convenient pages showing the President actually paying tax out of the past 20 years during which most experts believe he didn’t? Because it seems they were posted in New York…

Actually, to the mailbox of financial journalist and veteran Trump-watcher, David Cay Johnson, who vouches for them and suggests they may have come instead from the busy, multidepartmental desk of Jared Kushner.


You’ve got $millions

Marissa Meyer, the attractive young CEO of Yahoo!, is reportedly on the way out of the door following the takeover by rapacious comms giant Verizon, which already owns AOL. (They don’t seem to have antitrust laws anymore in Trumpsville.)

With a severance package worth $23 million, according to Variety magazine.

Ms Mayer was heavily criticised during her time in charge for presiding over numerous breaches of security, not only through mass hacking of millions of records, but in freely handing customer data over to the NSA without even a token struggle.

Meanwhile, leaving the Bank of England only hours before she was due to take up a more senior post, having been fingered by a Commons committee as failing to register a conflict of interest on the application form she herself helped design – her brother works in Securities at Barclays – Charlotte Hogg, for whose family the word ‘Establishment’ had to be invented, gets nothing.

Ms Hogg, 47, and a genuine high-flyer, the former CEO of venture capital angels 3i, had ample warnings and persisted in claiming she had filled the form in correctly, so you could see her departure as a form of career suicide. She went, despite Governor Carney refusing to accept her resignation until the very last minute. She was that valued, he put his own career on the line to save her.

Her actual entitlement was three months’ salary: £65,000.

She chose not to take it.

And they say bankers are corrupt.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s