Home » 'Impossible things' » The Pumpkin – Issue 29: Is Anyone Awake?; Minnie the Moocher; Baked Alaska; Maids in America; Where’s Wendi Deng?

The Pumpkin – Issue 29: Is Anyone Awake?; Minnie the Moocher; Baked Alaska; Maids in America; Where’s Wendi Deng?

“The security implications are just awful”

“Washington is very busy with other things right now, unfortunately. The healthcare vote was an incredible blow to the Republican party. I suspect that many in office are licking their wounds today,” (a spokeswoman said). “The US state department is not fully staffed. I don’t think they are staffed up for this event.” – James Martin Center for Nonproliferation Studies

Is anyone awake?

Thus the Trump administration, in tatters, boldly responds to “this event” – another threatening and provocative intercontinental ballistic missile test by North Korea, the potentially nuclear-armed projectile splashing down harmlessly yet undiplomatically 1,000 miles away within the sovereign Japanese Economic Area, or sea as it’s known. And with a second test reported this morning, Pyongyang is crowing that it can now hit anywhere in the continental United States.

What goes up…

Yet Trump has lost the plot. He’s throwing tantrums over the unpatriotic Democrat opposition (the clue is in the word) conspiracy against him to thwart his great new American healthcare bill (it doesn’t exist – somebody tell him). He’s sending menacing Mafia-style tweets to Republican senatorial recusants accusing them of letting the nation down (L’État, c’est moi, as Louis X1V the ‘Sun King’ used to say). He prefers to target the LGBTs in his own military and is picking fights with everyone from his White House Chief of Staff, the weedy Reince Priebus, to surely his most loyal acolyte, the lying Georgia weasel, Attorney General Jeff Sessions; while appointing an unpleasant, foul-mouthed, preening little bitch from the mean streets of New York, Wall Street being the meanest, Anthony Scaramucci – ‘The Mooch’, yuck – to be his new ‘communications’ director.

Minnie the Moocher

So, already becoming the other big story of the week, which Trump won’t like as he prefers to be the centre of attention, the media- unsavvy Scaramouche is a former Goldman Sachs investment whatnot and millionaire hedge-trimmer, who has already caused a media shitstorm by threatening to fire the entire WH pressroom staff unless someone fesses up to who leaked the story that he’d been invited to dinner with Fox News w’anchor, Sean Hannity, and the President. A ‘leak’ he describes as having major national security implications… and blamed Chief of Staff Priebus.

And then he has given some rather odd interviews, explaining that while politicians stab each other in the back he’s more of a ‘front-stabber’; expressed his loathing of the media, forced the resignation of a random innocent press office spokesman and gone off on a potty-mouthed rant, accusing Priebus (who tried to block his appointment) of being a ‘fucking paranoiac’* and Steve Bannon, not without some insight, of ‘sucking his own cock’ – in a message to a New Yorker magazine reporter. He followed up with an insouciant tweet apologising that it’s just his way of communicating, and then promptly deleted it.

With his extreme views about ‘leakers’ – he’s publicly said he’d like to have them all ‘fuckin’ killed’, the adorable little fantasist, ignoring that most of the Whiteyleaks come from the Oval Office itself – and his troublingly effusive declarations of ‘genuine love’ for the President, people are already questioning his sanity, especially as his job doesn’t even start until 15 August and he has no power to fire anybody. But the rightwing media and Trump, of course, is loving it. The Mooch is his kinda guy.

The story took a brilliant turn this morning when, according to The New York Post, Scaramucci’s blonde WASP wife Deirdre announced over breakfast that she’s filing for divorce, explaining that she doesn’t want to have to drag the kids to Washington, she loathes Donald Trump, and despairs of her husband’s revolting Presidential bumsucking: “She is tired of his naked ambition, which is so enormous that it left her at her wits’ end.”

All this is just a pleasant diversion, as we haven’t heard much about the FBI investigation into Trump family enterprises and his manoeuvering to fire the Special Counsel, Bob Mueller, for at least three days.

So the President is absolutely not paying attention to national security.

Meanwhile, most of the posts at the State Department and key ambassadorships in the SE Asia region remain unfilled; Secretary of State ‘Tex’ Rex Tillexxon has gone on vacation and is reportedly considering his untenable position. He’s been sidelined on foreign affairs by Trump’s plastic-toy and all-purpose foreign affairs Nanki-poo, Kushner, now on his second team of defense lawyers; and thwarted in his expectation that Russia sanctions would be lifted, allowing the zillion-dollar Exxon-Rosneft deal to go ahead to drill the fuck out of the Arctic, thereby inflating the $245 million share package he left the company with.

Jefferson Beleaguered Sessions 111, the subject of so many frankly disgraceful undermining public tweets from little Presidential thumbs in recent days (not that we give a shit what happens to him, it’s the principle of the thing) has taken the hint, too, and is away on an important fact-finding visit to discuss jurisprudence in El Salvador.

Republican majority leaders in Congress so badly need to get a grip on this insecure, vindictive, whining little mafia-baby they put in the White House. But they’re not home either.

With Kim Jong-un rampant and the Chinese quietly taking over the vacated spaces of the world, the Russians angry because their boy Trump hasn’t come through for them on sanctions, floods and wildfires everywhere, trade deals in abeyance, revolt brewing in the House, the State department emasculated, the military confused, the FBI closing in – the security implications are just awful.

Not so very post-scriptum…

And tonight, after being escorted from the White House by Security, Mini the Mooch is hightailing it back to New York, fired by General Kelly after only ten days in a job he wouldn’t officially have started for another two weeks. The senile President had to do as he was told by heavily-bemedalled daddy or be sent to bed with no milk and cookies.

Lucky man, it may save his marriage. And he won’t have to sell his business for $85 million to the Chinese, which was going to be another problem as it looked like a dirty backroom deal to gain influence with the regime in Washington. Bad.

x

“Under the demented policies of the Golden Orb, the USA is going all-out to extract and burn every last drop of its own energy as quickly as possible…”

Baked Alaska

In a desperate, last-minute attempt to give the screaming baby a sugar-dummy to suck on before the babysitters head off to abuse one another at summer camp, the chinless Sen. McConnell’s terrible compromise ‘skinny repeal’ bill, just to pare back any parts of President Obama’s Affordable Care Act he can, failed at 2 a.m. yesterday to pass.

Like its two failed predecessors, the bill was cooked-up in secret by a kitchen cabinet of late-middle-aged rich conservative white men to carve 72-oz entrecote steaks off Obamacare and give the best cuts away to the top 2% (who already own 80% of the wealth of America).

And now everyone is in the toilet.

Which is great when your equally insecure, vindictive, whining little mafia-baby enemy over the water is playing with nuclear toys that could obliterate parts of…

Oh, wait a minute.

Didn’t Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke just warn, bad things could happen to Alaska?

Wasn’t it as a result of Alaskan Sen. Lisa Murkowski honorably voting No to the initial proposal to debate the ‘skinny’ bill, saying she wasn’t going to be intimidated, and then honorably voting again with two colleagues, Sens. McCain and Collins, along with the Democrats against the actual bill too, on grounds that no-one had had time to read it and it hadn’t even been debated, causing it to fall…?

Or, it’s possible Trump is hoping for a first-strike on Hawaii, where the circuit court did so much to twice thwart his silly and inconsequential immigration bill; the only piece of primary legislation he has – in a watered-down form – been able to get through Congress in six months of shambolic maladministration.

Still mindful of Pearl Harbor, the Hawaiian State Legislature is reportedly making civil defense preparations.

Why are the Republicans so obsessed with committing electoral suicide? Is it existential guilt? No-one seems to know.

“It’s a deliberate policy of genocide for the rest of the human race…”

As The Pumpkin has observed before, the GOP congressmen and women are between a rock and a hard place. The rock being the Koch Brothers, zillionaire kings of dirty energy, who have offered ‘at least’ $400 million funding to the party for next year’s mid-term elections; the hard place being where Republican candidates may find themselves when the voters finally realize that repealing Obamacare without a replacement will leave 32 million hardworking American families nowhere to go when they get sick; which, as consumer protections, animal welfare and food quality regulations are pared back, and dangerous agrichemicals greenlighted, they are sure to.

The Pumpkin’s belief is that the Kochs, two avuncular philanthropic octogenarians in whose mouths butter would turn to snake venom, are less interested in the repeal bill than they are in the budget, debate on which has been held up for months while McConnell blustered and flustered over Trump’s furious demands to get Obamacare repeal done; something he promised his dumbfucks he would do on Day One. But then, he lied. So bad.

The budget is, if anything, more crazy and disgusting than the repeal bill, cutting 4.3 trillion dollars from all kinds of progressive social supports and schools programs and handing the lot to millionaires, corporations and the bloated arms industry in the form of huge tax cuts – an ultra-con economic model so fundamentally wrong that its experimental application has all-but bankrupted the state of Kansas; its failed Governor Sam Brownback, a man whose brain would struggle to get noticed in a peapod, has just been nominated by the mad President as America’s global ‘ambassador for religion’. So we have a prayer….

The energy bidness – fossil-fuel – already benefits from hidden subsidies in the US of $37.5 billion annually, giving the lie to all their executive whingeing about unfair subsidies for renewables, which are far smaller – about $10 bn. That oil, coal and gas subsidy increased by some $6 bn under the Obama administration, by the way.

And, let’s not forget, as former Exxon CEO Lee Raymond once said, US energy companies don’t really regard themselves as patriotic American employers. They operate all around the globe. The total subsidy to energy corporations around the globe is rather more, a little under $1 trillion.

http://priceofoil.org/fossil-fuel-subsidies (2013 figures)

But it’s not enough! Under the demented policies of the Golden Orb, the USA is going all-out to extract and burn every last drop of its own energy as quickly as possible, providing $trillions more profit for shareholders currently scrambling to build themselves climate-controlled underground bunker complexes, the latest billionaire must-haves, until it runs out; whereupon Trump will order his refinanced military to go out and ‘take the oil’ – the gas, or the minerals, from places like Afghanistan, until nothing survives.

It’s a policy of deliberate genocide for the rest of the human race. We have essentially been written off the books and, in their madness, it’s an extinction the money-breathers fantasize they can survive.

It shouldn’t be long now.

x

* Within an hour of The Pumpkin Posting this, it’s been reported that Priebus has seen the writing on the wall and quit. A career politician, he never did fit with the squabbling and chaotic amateur arselickers of Trump’s inspirational cabinet, the Wall Street Kids. Having been hired as a biddable missing link with conventional politics on the Hill, he was bound to end up as the fall guy for Trump’s humiliating failure to get any of his crazed legislative program through before the recess.

Gen. Kelly, the Homeland Security director, has been drafted in as Chief of Staff. Good luck with that. He’s not a politician either, so Trump clearly hasn’t learned the lesson, that if you want to do politics, get things done, you need to be one of Them.

It’s beginning to look more and more like the end of the Weimar republic every day.

x

 

“And she was bleeding from the … wherever, you know?”

Maids in America

After regaling the Boy Scouts of America with stories about wild parties involving drugs and women on yachts, for no apparent purpose other than to illustrate his robust views on law and order Trump – who has an obsession with women bleeding – threw out a peculiarly disturbing image during another of his 2020 campaign rallies last week. From a report in the Guardian entitled “Scaramucci, one week in: civil war in the White House and an even wilder Trump”, by White House correspondent David Smith, Trump is quoted in a passage as follows:

In Youngstown, Ohio, he painted a lurid picture of “predators and criminal aliens” who “take a young, beautiful girl, 16, 15, and others and they slice them and dice them with a knife because they want them to go through excruciating pain before they die. And these are the animals that we’ve been protecting for so long.”

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/jul/29/scaramucci-white-house-reince-priebus-donald-trump

What could he possibly have meant by that little vignette, we wonder: who or what is he referring to? It’s not as if he gave chapter and verse for the reference. Was it something he saw on Fox News or, his new fascination, the teenage version of Politico, Circa – even Fox is beginning to let slip the odd criticism of the nightmare for America that is the Trump maladministration, while its ratings have been plummeting.

Trump has some curious psychological ‘tics’, one of which is bringing up bad things that happened without being prompted, presenting them as examples of his opponent’s behaviour, but for which he then transfers credit to himself. ‘Crooked Hillary may have done ‘x’, but I tell you, if I did that it would have been the best ‘x’ ever…’

We can only pray then that this unscripted reference to the torture and murder of underage girls is not something he knew about from past experiences in the New York underworld, where he reputedly got a kick out of mixing socially in the 1970s and 80s.

The Pumpkin was recently led via a link in a Comment to a web article created by an anonymous former New York model, or so the author claims, who has spent years researching Trump’s connection with the sleazy milieu of underage ‘Size-zer0’ models, many trafficked illegally into the United States by dubious modelling agencies linked with underworld gangs.

The resulting long article can be found on the Daily Kos website, bylined SwedishJewfish. It describes – and one needs to be careful here, although the report is sourced to other media investigations – how in the 1970s a Trump associate, John Casablancas, founded a new kind of modelling agency that was all about flash: money, celebrities, sex and cocaine – creating the public image of the ‘supermodel’ – and how before setting up his own modelling agency, Trump pushed his daughter, Ivanka, into a modelling career, aged only 14, through Casablancas’ agency, exploiting his influence in the business, despite Casablancas’ reputation as a serial abuser of underage girls. Casablancas later fled to Brazil, where he worked for a while as a property salesman for the Trump Organization.

I’ll just quote this short extract:

I was not alone in my impressions – others who commented on the Mother Jones piece (see below) and the subsequent coverage made similar observations. MSNBC’s Chris Hayes commented that Trump Models seemed to be borderline human trafficking, initially making the comment on Twitter and later on dedicating a segment of his prime time show to exploring the topic. Seth Meyers, for his part, did a segment on the MJ piece as well, comparing it to an episode of Law & Order SVU. While his commentary was cloaked in his usual sardonic humor, Seth’s disgust was evident as he wondered aloud if the prospect of Trump harboring sex slaves in his proverbial basement would be enough to make voters sour on his candidacy. At the time this story broke, I assumed it was going to blow up. I assumed that follow up reporting would be done, and it would become the major story of the 2016 election. I thought it might even open up a long overdue dialogue about sex trafficking, and how our broken immigration and criminal justice systems enables its existence. 

But that never happened.

No, but what did happen during the 2016 election was the spreading via social media of completely absurd, off-the-wall memes promoting ‘fake news’ slurs against the Clinton campaign (see previous Pumpkins).

One of which gained notoriety, when a gunman walked into a pizza restaurant in Washington popular with Congressional staffers, Comet PingPong, and fired shots into the ceiling, after reading online that Hillary Clinton and her campaign manager, John Podesta, were running a ‘paedophile ring’ from the basement

A space that turned out also to be ‘proverbial’… there being no basement.

Is this perhaps a ‘proverbial basement’ where girls were actually tortured and murdered, in Donald Trump’s fading recollection? Is it a case of ‘What did you know, and when?’ Is there, in short, a basis in experience for his psychotic fascination with women and blood?

Or has he just been watching too much torture porn during the sleepless hours?

We may never know. The website Pizzagate.wiki goes into simply enormous and seemingly authoritative detail about connections between Clinton Democrats and their funders and various ‘known’ paedophiles and child-traffickers like Sir Clement Freud, Jimmy Savile and the owner of the Comet PingPong restaurant, James Alefantis, yet is mysteriously completely silent on the subject of Mr Casablancas and Trump Model Management.

http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/08/donald-trump-model-management-illegal-immigration

From which, purely coincidentally:

“…a Trump agency representative who served as a chaperone had a bedroom to herself on the ground floor of the building. A narrow flight of stairs led down to the basement, where the models lived in two small bedrooms that were crammed with bunk beds…”

xFrom which,

Where’s Wendi Deng?

Missing from the photo op below is the ex- Mrs Murdoch, queen of the political pajama parties. (Only joking.)

Of course, with the failure of the replacement healthcare act and even the ‘skinny repeal’ bill, whereby lifting the requirement for all Americans over 25 to carry basic insurance and for employers of more than 50 staff to make contributions would have taken so much money out of the system that premiums would have to go up sharply for the rest, the vindictive obsessionist Trump has decreed with his proudest and most marmorial Mount Rushmore face on that Obamacare ‘must now be allowed to implode by itself’.

The bad news is, although he genuinely seems to have convinced himself with his own windy rhetoric that it was, it wasn’t failing until he came along. The good news however, certain Red Republican states will now feel empowered to blow the extra money Obamacare gave them for an increase in Medicare provision for the sick on sneaky, lying TV propaganda to get themselves re-elected. Obamacare – which took seven years to put in place in the face of howling Republican opposition and does admittedly need some tweaking – will wither on the vine, a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So nasty, these Republicans. So ugly. Twisted.

Sen. Jack Fart ‘n’ hold  is on the right of your picture, in the blue onesie.

If proof of upright, responsible, Republican governance were needed, here is Senator Jack Farenthold, R. Texas, pro-repeal, pro-gun, pro-Big Orl, enjoying a well-earned moment of leisure before publicly challenging Senator Susan Collins, ‘skinny repeal’ recusante, to a duel – citing a historic precedent in which a former senator was tragically shot dead.

Mother Jones website, from where The Pumpkin purloins this picture, reports: “Farenthold … was once sued by a staffer for sexual harassment (the claim was settled outside of court)”.

Balanced folk must ask themselves from time to time, who on earth votes for these sleazy, fatuous, ignorant bumpkins like Farenthold, imagining they would be fit to hold office in a drive-thru burger-bar, and why do they? Their lives are never made better as a consequence.

And the answer comes back: sleazy, fatuous, ignorant Americans, who no longer believe anything will make a difference to their lives and don’t care. They’re the core base. There’s millions of ’em, and they love grotesque pork-barrel candidates like Fart ‘n’ hold; like Donald Trump, as seen on TV.

See, what a refreshing change he is from those corrupt stuffed-shirt bastards on the Hill!

Make America great again, boys. Yee-ha!

x

And finally…

If ever a metaphor presented itself from the heavens to perfectly illustrate the American nightmare, it’s the story of the Ohio woman who called 911 from her garden to plead for help.

A snake collector, she’d just rehomed a six-foot boa constrictor. Now it was wrapped around her face, squeezing hard, and wouldn’t let go of biting her nose.

Unlike the Republican party, the fire service had the right idea.

They cut its head off.

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