Agony Uncle, please write in

For some reason, the number of Comments on this blog has been slowly shrinking over the past few months, and now stands at only two. Coincidentally, there are two similar messages listed in the Spam folder, both very kind if somewhat disjointed.

In order to spice things up a bit, as the Chinese say, I have therefore decided to start a new column offering solace to the world-weary and lonesome; people indeed not unlike myself, who might well improve from sharing their experiences with the other reader.

Opening my postbag, then, I see there is a letter from a Mr Bogl of Aberystwyth who writes:

Dear Uncle Bogler

As a proponent of luxuriant facial hair, I have noticed that the top of my moustache starts growing well up inside my nose. It seems wasted there, as no-one can see it. Is this possibly evidence for the said proboscis having evolved sometime later than the human face?

Chuckling sympathetically, Uncle Bogler replies:

Dear Mr Bogl

There is no better evidence for human evolution of any kind. Nasal hair, as it’s known, affects large numbers of people, I forget exactly how many. Strange to think that women, who like to portray themselves as clean-shaven, are, in truth, carrying moustaches around secretly inside their facial appurtenances. Thursday is well-aspected and will bring luck to Pisces.

Good advice, I’m sure you agree. Do feel free to write in. A burden shared between two is a burden halved, a wise man eventually noticed.