Special edition: Weird Stuff. Sea recedes mysteriously etcetera. Congratulations on the weather report, BBC. Paranoia corner: Apoceclypse Now!Thar She Blows! Obituary: So farewell Daedalus

Sea recedes mysteriously etcetera

The scene at Montevideo when the sea receded. Possibly.

On the 13th of August, according to several flaky looking websites such as SOTT.com (Signs of the Times) and JewWorldOrder, the sea rapidly and mysteriously retreated from around Montevideo in Uruguay, up to Porto del Este in neighbouring Brazil, when low tide was not expected.

Fearing a tsunami, people ran for high ground; however, none came, and the waters returned of their own accord some hours later. No large earthquakes were reported in the region at the time.

The phenomenon was matched, according to MBB333, one of those internet weather-watchers, unofficial meteorologists with access to satellite imagery, by correspondingly large waves on the other side of the Atlantic, in Africa. (He may be confusing it with a storm surge that flooded the seafront at Durban in March.)

At the same time, too, other sites were reporting 40-foot waves slamming into the west coast of South America, again apparently for no reason – although there were eight active cyclones in the Pacific region last week, and a couple of M6 subsea earthquakes. No other report of these occurrences can be found in the normal media, but there has been a suggestion that the world may be expanding.

The sea retreating story was also covered by Disclose.TV, an entertaining conspiracies and new world order website. So, given the provenance, and the degree of retweeting going on, and the fact that it didn’t make the mainstream media, you’d say it’s probably not a verifiable tale. Fake nooze.

Yet the BogPo has a curious feeling that there’s a truth to it; it has some explanation, and visual evidence. The conspiracy websites, as well as making stuff up completely, often report real-world events but with their own weird spin on them. They’re not all entirely ‘fakin’ unbelievable if you can just get at the core facts.

MBB333 goes on to discuss something called The South American Roll, a theory that the entire continent is moving as a result of almost all the live volcanoes and seismic activity in South America occurring, as they do, on the west coast.

There has indeed recently been a flurry of activity, volcanoes popping off and a swarm of mid-range earthquakes all down the coasts of Colombia, Ecuador, Peru and Chile. Indeed, it’s been observable right around the Pacific so-called ‘Ring of Fire’. Could that possibly create pressures that would cause the whole continental plate to rock, briefly lifting the seabed off the west coast? It’s a big place, South America. Heavy. And if the plate (known as a ‘craton’) tilted, you might notice the rivers on the east coast running slower, or even backward? Or could strong lunar pull just have created a supertide?

The Roll does in fact have its own web page, it turns out. South American Roll Watch posts to an incredibly weird site called Earth Changes and the Pole Shift, where strange people contribute cryptic comments in unusual forms of English to a forum on tectonic plate movement and the position of magnetic North.

Bona fide geologists describe tectonics as happening slower than your fingernails are growing, which may account for the general excitement level on the site, which looks not to have been touched since 2010, and ‘the impending pole shift’ – the belief that a periodic flipping of the poles every so many tens of thousands of years is due to create global mayhem any minute now.

However, analysis of the information provided by a mysterious couple, or maybe a group, known as the Zetas suggests that the South American Roll theory predicts a much more violent event. In a curious mixture of scientific-sounding analysis and apocalyptic visions it appears the roll will be more south to north rather than west to east, the continent breaking across the middle creating huge tsunamis in the Caribbean, wiping out whole islands; and inundating the whole of what is now Argentina north of Patagonia. At least, that’s what I think their somewhat crudely drawn maps are telling us.

A similar unusual tidal retreat of about 60 extra metres was observed in Mexico’s Yucatan peninsula in 2011:

“The sea began to ebb the arrival of Tuesday afternoon, after the rain left a beautiful rainbow in the sky. Many people took the opportunity to walk along the beach and observe the phenomenon, and collected some shells and snails.”

It sounds rather lovely; nicer than the Zeta’s description of the continent buckling and folding in half across the broken back of the Andes:

“In addition to what will happen to the land mass, we have mentioned exploding volcanoes very near at hand, and water rushing completely over such lowlands as the Yucatan and Panama. How have we failed to relay what is coming? If total destruction does not occur during the 7 of 10*, it will during the hour of the pole shift if not before that time.”

Indeed, to look at the predicted disasters due to result from gravitational effects on the movement of the continental plates, we are supposed to be about to witness as much geological change in a few hours as the earth has not experienced in the last 60 million years. Better buckle up and hang on.

It seems low tides are also getting lower at Acapulco, in Mexico.

Another reason being ‘floated’ for the unexpected tidal outsurge is there’s a massive storm out in the Atlantic that’s created a low-pressure bulge in the ocean surface, drawing water towards it from the coast. Only none has been reported. The sea can be a fickle mistress, and the BogPo’s advice is to admire it from a nearby clifftop or hotel balcony if you want to live a long and happy life.

Lots of heads and horns: the 7 of 10. Or something. (lightofthegentiles.com/Google)

Currently, there are five major weather systems that are threatening to become hurricanes. These ‘tropical waves’ are pulsing in a chain across the equator from West Africa where they have brought devastating rains, epecially in Sierra Leone where a thousand people may have died in the huge landslip that engulfed a village near Freetown at the weekend. Hurricane Gert is a weak Force 1 that developed out in the Atlantic but is heading northeast away from land. Tropical Storm Harvey is strengthening into a hurricane as it approaches the Leeward Islands. A special watch is being kept on the Freetown system as it barrels out to sea.

So the storm-sucking theory is not improbable, although Montevideo is quite far south of the tropics. One other suggestion being touted around is, of course, that a crack has opened up under the ocean. Mysterious cracks have indeed been reported in Peru, in Mexico, at Yellowstone….

Familysurvivalheadlines.com reported the bare-beaches story with an attribution of origin to another site, Weseekthetruth.com. There, other headline stories concern the pyramids discovered in Bosnia, and a government Paranormal Activity warning out for North Carolina.

The BogPo wonders if they’re seeking the truth quite hardenough.com?

We should possibly remind ourselves gently that the total solar eclipse due to track its way across the USA on Monday is creating inspired millennarian chaos all over the conspiracy community; while I see the Russians have realized, they only need to drop a small nuke on Yellowstone and it’s all over for the seven-horned Trump administration.

Watch that space!

 

*The 7 of 10. I’ve looked it up so you don’t have to. It’s either a geological probability, the number referring to the timing of the impending shift of the poles, a system devised by the Zetas, or it’s the 7 heads and 10 horns of the Beast in Revelations 13. Prophecy Ministers’ Focus on Jerusalem website explains it thus:

 “As previously mentioned, most students of prophecy are agreed that this beast represents the kingdom of Greece after it was divided into four parts following the death of Alexander the Great in 323 BC. This agrees with the prophecy in Daniel 8 which also shows the four fold division of the Greek Empire in the form of 4 Horns on a goat, and specifically identifies Greece (vv. 21-22). In the case of chapter 7’s 4-Headed leopard, then, the Heads are kingdoms.”

Got that? Can we move on? Great.

Postscriptum:

A rare M4.9 earthquake was reported by several agencies in Bahia province, northern Brazil, on the 13th August. No USGS record of the quake has been published. Is the continent tilting? They ned to know.

 

“More than 16 million people have now been affected by seasonal flooding across a swathe of South Asia, say aid officials. The floods in Nepal, Bangladesh and India are thought to have killed about 500 people and are expected to worsen. The International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies (IFRC) says it is becoming one of the worst regional humanitarian crises in years. There are growing concerns about food shortages and disease.” – BBC News, 18 August.

Congratulations on the weather report, BBC.

The BBC finally catches up with the real weather news, reporting that 500 people have died and 16 million are affected by flooding in India, Pakistan and Bangladesh.

The floods in the region have been going on for the best part of three months – see many previous Posts. Thailand and Myanmar (Burma), the south islands of Japan and New Zealand have all experienced severe flooding, as have the southern and southeastern United States, Mexico and Central America, West Africa and northern eastern Europe – with violent flash floods in many other parts of the world, from Switzerland and Russia to Nepal.

They’ll almost certainly discover next week to their amazement that large swathes of central and SE China have also been underwater for about the same length of time. Everywhere else is under a 100F-plus heatwave, droughted, on fire and/or experiencing violent storms, often of ice or snow. A wildfire can be seen from space – burning in Greenland. A 2,000-mile plume of smoke from Siberian wildfires is polluting the Arctic, where the temperature is 8C warmer than the 1981 to 2001 average.

But of course, climate change will have nothing to do with it. That would be taking sides in the debate between the entire world’s scientific community and Lord Lawson of Blaby, a senile old change-denying ghoul dug up from the Thatcher era, with no scientific credentials*, and the BBC can’t be seen to be doing that.

Preposterous bunch of half-arsed tossers.

NASA: has July 2017 tied with July 2016 as the hottest months on record. July 2017 was 2.25°C (4.05°F) warmer than the annual global mean 1980-2015 (seasonal cycle). Only in August 2016 was it warmer (2.29°C), but then again, August 2017 looks set to be warmer than that yet. Arctic sea ice extent tied with 2012 low but total volume less; expected gone by mid-September.

Arctic News: scientists calculate, a rise of 10°C (18°F) could occur by the year 2026, based on temperature anomalies from 1750 for February and on progressive growth of warming elements. “Crucial will be the decline of snow & sea ice and associated feedbacks.”

Crimea: violent storm, 3ft flash flooding in city of Sudak. Water turns blood-red from the tail-lights of parked cars as alarms are set off.

Side note: Watching endless cameraphone uploads of this kind of flooding from all over the world in the past few weeks, especially in provincial cities, the BogPo has been struck by the symbolism of hundreds upon hundreds of cars being – visibly – flushed away down streets become raging rivers, tossed aside by gales and dumped impotently atop one another, as if to underscore the nature of the problem. Yet it barely seems to stop people driving.

Hong Kong: authorities raise approaching Typhoon Hato to highest threat level 10. Makes landfall at Macau, 3 dead, 2 missing.

Ukraine: large wildfires burning along the Russian border near Rostov.

Bangladesh: ‘35%’ of the country is underwater.

Nepal: floods. 80% crop losses, stores ruined, food prices double.

Northern India: millions of acres of Assam still underwater. Death toll in Bihar rises to 202, 46 in Uttar Pradesh, 60 in West Bengal.

Congo (DRC): ‘at least’ 200 dead in landslide that buries fishing village following torrential rains.

Sierra Leone: death toll in Freetown landslip tops 400. ‘Hundreds’ still missing.

Thailand: Sai river bursts its banks. Chiang Rai underwater.

USA: Lolo Peak, Montana – fires burning for over a month flare up again after lightning strikes. 1,600 evacuated. Washington state: wildfires force evacuations. Multiple tornadoes in Midwest, storms in Minnesota, Texas cause widespread damage, power outages. Rivers flooding around Dallas, Texas.

Canada: wildfires in British Columbia and Northwest Territories break all official records, approaching 1m acres affected.

Portugal: Public ‘calamity’ declared as wildfires continue to rage in the central regions; 2,000 still ‘cut off’ in the town of Macão. No respite in hot, windy conditions.

Austria, Southern Germany: more severe storms disrupt festivals, cause local flooding.

Nicaragua: winds strengthening, 80% chance of developing tropical storm/hurricane – heavy rainfall for Belize, Yucatan.

Climate and Extreme Weather News #56/ France 24/ Al Jazeera/ Euronews/ Arctic News

*Out of curiosity, the BogPo Googled: ‘Who is funding Lord Lawson?’ (he refuses to say) and came up with an investigation into his ‘Global Warming Policy Foundation’ by the Left Foot Forward website from June 2010 that shows Lawson is highly sensitive about that question, indeed merely to ask it is, he says, ‘actionable’. Especially as there appear allegedly to be multiple third-party connections to Exxon Mobil and a number of East European energy companies.

leftfootforward.org/2010/06/lawson-still-wont-come-clean-about-sceptic-foundations-funding/

What a cancerous old corpse.

Why does the BBC still insist on exhuming Lawson, dripping with soil and maggots, to ‘balance’ any story in which climate change is mentioned as a probable subject for discussion? They must surely realize it has gone way beyond that? Opposing an objective ‘expert’ truth against a manifest ‘non-expert’ lie is not balance, it is insanity.

Postscriptum:

For an interesting long read on the political debate over Climate Change policy, go to:

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/jul/07/climate-change-denial-scepticism-cynicism-politics

On the other hand, as you probably know, the BogPo is not of the opinion that there is any further debate to be had.

The merest suggestion that there is anything to be decided – or, increasingly, anything to be done – is to play into the hands of the Energy sector, their corrupted proxies in government, the yellow-bellied scum in the well-funded academic ‘denier’ community and the vile PR campaigners sowing rumour-mongered doubt to stave off what they knew decades ago should have been inevitable policy changes and restrictions on their shareholder greed.

The scientific principles behind warming have been known for over 100 years, the evidence is there for all to see, the Energy giants knew all this decades ago, they have admitted that they’ve been lying, there is no ‘debate’. The planet is not in fact ‘cooling’. Sea ice is not ‘expanding’. The sun is not ‘getting hotter’. Volcanoes are not ‘responsible for all the CO2’. Plants and plankton cannot ‘absorb all the CO2’. Wildfires are contributing as much to global warming as governments have been saving through their inadequate greener energy policies.

Climatologists are not weather forecasters, climate is not ‘the weather’. It is impossible to accurately forecast local outcomes from climate models: that is not what is required of them. You cannot use that to berate the scientific community: ‘Oh, but you said… nah ni nah’. It’s just childish. All the trendlines are converging on imminent catastrophe, irreversible tipping-points have already been reached or exceeded.

In combination with man-made environmental degradation and climate-induced crop failures food insecurity is already being seen, prices are rising and those who, it is claimed by the ‘New Optimists’, are being ‘lifted out of extreme poverty’ by the tens of thousands every day will soon find themselves back in it. Drastic action needs to be taken: Paris is not enough.

Get your facts straight and fucking WAKE UP.

x

Paranoia corner: Apoceclypse Now!

Well folks, it’s the 21st of August, Total Apoceclypse, and the paranoid Trumpfucks are out in force on YouTube. Principal among weird theories abounding this morning:

  • NASA (an offshoot of the Illuminati founded under the Obama regime) is using the eclipse to smuggle climate-changing alien bacteria into the stratosphere.
  • The eclipse was predicted in an episode of The Simpsons.
  • They’re not telling us everythin’, we need to evacuate Wyoming now.
  • The 33rd degree eclipse splits the nation in half, causing civil war. (btw, Jesus was 33 when he died, so this is a very special occasion…)
  • “Native Americans are advising to stay indoors. It is a time for reflection. The energy levels will be very high. Do not go to the water and observe this eclipse.”
  • “The oldest most ancient truths called Nuwaubu reveals the truth of the cycles and luminaries of the sky.”

‘zac deshazo’ writes: “This is spot on about rahu causing eclipses…ive been banging my head against the wall trying to explain this to anyone who will listen…THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS VIDEO!” (narrator informs us the sun is moving, it’s not the earth!)

I’m sorry, people, American is not a race, so I don’t think I’m being especially racist when I have to say, you’re all fucking nuts. Is this what you get with Obamacare? How did the rest of us ever come to believe the crazy idea that America leads the world when you haven’t evolved since the Stone Age, when dinosaurs ruled the earth?

(Yes, there are whited-out letter ‘x’s between all the different stories on my Posts. It doesn’t mean anything, okay? It’s just to stop the stories colliding with fucking Planet X Nibiru. Jesus, get a grip.)

x

Thar She Blows!

Half of America seems to imagine that some magical cosmic effect of the total solar eclipse tomorrow will cause the Yellowstone supervolcano to erupt with terrifying, probably world-ending consequences.

Signs and portents of natural wonders. (Photo: National Geographic, I think. Sorry.)

It’s been pretty lively lately, more than 60 straight days with up to 62 small earthquakes in a day and the three domes in the huge caldera all rising alarmingly as magma (estimated at 7 cubic kilometres) floods the chamber beneath at a depth of barely a mile.

The authorities, of course, especially the evil US Geological Survey, aren’t telling us the truth. They’re deliberately suppressing half the earthquake reports, the web cameras keep getting shut off, the info on gas releases is being doctored, and they’re still letting the public in and the bison roam to avoid scaring people. Just look at the colour of the steam, it’s obvious!

So you can forgive a certain increase in the panic level at a story attributed to our own, much loved Daily Mail, the rattiest garbage sink in the country, that NASA scientists are proposing to ‘cool the magma down’ by FRACKING in the caldera.

It might take quite a lot of water to cool 7 cubic kilometres of 1,000-degree hot magma, one suspects, while the instant any quantity of water is introduced, superheated steam is produced and the whole fucking thing is gonna blow, with an estimated death toll of 25 million.

It will certainly take the nation’s mind off the woes of the White House, but no-one we suspect has any faith in the ability of their inept and profoundly ignorant administration to handle a fart in a bubblebath.

Has anyone noticed, the volume of plots and alchemical potions ascribed to NASA since Trump and his friend Bannon seized power has increased exponentially? NASA is the new Empire of Evil, apparently.

x

Obituary: So farewell Daedalus

News comes that whacky science writer, the physical chemist David Jones, better known to science buffs as Daedalus, has died at the age of 79.

Bronze-age flyer: Daedalus casting off. (Google/Shelf3D.com)

His Daedalus column appeared weekly as the endpiece in New Scientist for many years, before transferring to The Guardian. Married unsuccessfully for only one year of his life, a poignant factoid, he also featured in front of, and behind, the cameras in a number of TV shows dedicated to quirky scientific ideas.

He was astonishingly prescient with many of his more way-out inventions, including chemical lasers that could shoot down intercontinental ballistic missiles (15 years later forming the basis of Ronald Reagan’s Star Wars programme), and folding hexagonal carbon atoms into ‘football’-shaped molecules, an idea that three years later turned into the Nobel prizewinning (alas, not for him) ‘Buckyballs’, or Buckminsterfullerene.

He also seems to have accurately foreshadowed Brexit Britain, 29 years before the referendum. From The Guardian obituary:

“In 1987 he was the subject of a BBC QED programme, which realised one of his inventions: a bus on which each passenger was given a steering wheel, and which then proceeded in a “majority” direction.”

 

Footnote:

Readers may notice that I have ‘liked’ this piece myself. I have done so on behalf of ‘Unlimbited Tree Service’, who I was advised in an email from WordPress had Liked this piece, but whose Like has not appeared below as it should in theory have done.

Thank you.

Advertisements

The Pumpkin – Issue 29: Is Anyone Awake?; Minnie the Moocher; Baked Alaska; Maids in America; Where’s Wendi Deng?

“The security implications are just awful”

“Washington is very busy with other things right now, unfortunately. The healthcare vote was an incredible blow to the Republican party. I suspect that many in office are licking their wounds today,” (a spokeswoman said). “The US state department is not fully staffed. I don’t think they are staffed up for this event.” – James Martin Center for Nonproliferation Studies

Is anyone awake?

Thus the Trump administration, in tatters, boldly responds to “this event” – another threatening and provocative intercontinental ballistic missile test by North Korea, the potentially nuclear-armed projectile splashing down harmlessly yet undiplomatically 1,000 miles away within the sovereign Japanese Economic Area, or sea as it’s known. And with a second test reported this morning, Pyongyang is crowing that it can now hit anywhere in the continental United States.

What goes up…

Yet Trump has lost the plot. He’s throwing tantrums over the unpatriotic Democrat opposition (the clue is in the word) conspiracy against him to thwart his great new American healthcare bill (it doesn’t exist – somebody tell him). He’s sending menacing Mafia-style tweets to Republican senatorial recusants accusing them of letting the nation down (L’État, c’est moi, as Louis X1V the ‘Sun King’ used to say). He prefers to target the LGBTs in his own military and is picking fights with everyone from his White House Chief of Staff, the weedy Reince Priebus, to surely his most loyal acolyte, the lying Georgia weasel, Attorney General Jeff Sessions; while appointing an unpleasant, foul-mouthed, preening little bitch from the mean streets of New York, Wall Street being the meanest, Anthony Scaramucci – ‘The Mooch’, yuck – to be his new ‘communications’ director.

Minnie the Moocher

So, already becoming the other big story of the week, which Trump won’t like as he prefers to be the centre of attention, the media- unsavvy Scaramouche is a former Goldman Sachs investment whatnot and millionaire hedge-trimmer, who has already caused a media shitstorm by threatening to fire the entire WH pressroom staff unless someone fesses up to who leaked the story that he’d been invited to dinner with Fox News w’anchor, Sean Hannity, and the President. A ‘leak’ he describes as having major national security implications… and blamed Chief of Staff Priebus.

And then he has given some rather odd interviews, explaining that while politicians stab each other in the back he’s more of a ‘front-stabber’; expressed his loathing of the media, forced the resignation of a random innocent press office spokesman and gone off on a potty-mouthed rant, accusing Priebus (who tried to block his appointment) of being a ‘fucking paranoiac’* and Steve Bannon, not without some insight, of ‘sucking his own cock’ – in a message to a New Yorker magazine reporter. He followed up with an insouciant tweet apologising that it’s just his way of communicating, and then promptly deleted it.

With his extreme views about ‘leakers’ – he’s publicly said he’d like to have them all ‘fuckin’ killed’, the adorable little fantasist, ignoring that most of the Whiteyleaks come from the Oval Office itself – and his troublingly effusive declarations of ‘genuine love’ for the President, people are already questioning his sanity, especially as his job doesn’t even start until 15 August and he has no power to fire anybody. But the rightwing media and Trump, of course, is loving it. The Mooch is his kinda guy.

The story took a brilliant turn this morning when, according to The New York Post, Scaramucci’s blonde WASP wife Deirdre announced over breakfast that she’s filing for divorce, explaining that she doesn’t want to have to drag the kids to Washington, she loathes Donald Trump, and despairs of her husband’s revolting Presidential bumsucking: “She is tired of his naked ambition, which is so enormous that it left her at her wits’ end.”

All this is just a pleasant diversion, as we haven’t heard much about the FBI investigation into Trump family enterprises and his manoeuvering to fire the Special Counsel, Bob Mueller, for at least three days.

So the President is absolutely not paying attention to national security.

Meanwhile, most of the posts at the State Department and key ambassadorships in the SE Asia region remain unfilled; Secretary of State ‘Tex’ Rex Tillexxon has gone on vacation and is reportedly considering his untenable position. He’s been sidelined on foreign affairs by Trump’s plastic-toy and all-purpose foreign affairs Nanki-poo, Kushner, now on his second team of defense lawyers; and thwarted in his expectation that Russia sanctions would be lifted, allowing the zillion-dollar Exxon-Rosneft deal to go ahead to drill the fuck out of the Arctic, thereby inflating the $245 million share package he left the company with.

Jefferson Beleaguered Sessions 111, the subject of so many frankly disgraceful undermining public tweets from little Presidential thumbs in recent days (not that we give a shit what happens to him, it’s the principle of the thing) has taken the hint, too, and is away on an important fact-finding visit to discuss jurisprudence in El Salvador.

Republican majority leaders in Congress so badly need to get a grip on this insecure, vindictive, whining little mafia-baby they put in the White House. But they’re not home either.

With Kim Jong-un rampant and the Chinese quietly taking over the vacated spaces of the world, the Russians angry because their boy Trump hasn’t come through for them on sanctions, floods and wildfires everywhere, trade deals in abeyance, revolt brewing in the House, the State department emasculated, the military confused, the FBI closing in – the security implications are just awful.

Not so very post-scriptum…

And tonight, after being escorted from the White House by Security, Mini the Mooch is hightailing it back to New York, fired by General Kelly after only ten days in a job he wouldn’t officially have started for another two weeks. The senile President had to do as he was told by heavily-bemedalled daddy or be sent to bed with no milk and cookies.

Lucky man, it may save his marriage. And he won’t have to sell his business for $85 million to the Chinese, which was going to be another problem as it looked like a dirty backroom deal to gain influence with the regime in Washington. Bad.

x

“Under the demented policies of the Golden Orb, the USA is going all-out to extract and burn every last drop of its own energy as quickly as possible…”

Baked Alaska

In a desperate, last-minute attempt to give the screaming baby a sugar-dummy to suck on before the babysitters head off to abuse one another at summer camp, the chinless Sen. McConnell’s terrible compromise ‘skinny repeal’ bill, just to pare back any parts of President Obama’s Affordable Care Act he can, failed at 2 a.m. yesterday to pass.

Like its two failed predecessors, the bill was cooked-up in secret by a kitchen cabinet of late-middle-aged rich conservative white men to carve 72-oz entrecote steaks off Obamacare and give the best cuts away to the top 2% (who already own 80% of the wealth of America).

And now everyone is in the toilet.

Which is great when your equally insecure, vindictive, whining little mafia-baby enemy over the water is playing with nuclear toys that could obliterate parts of…

Oh, wait a minute.

Didn’t Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke just warn, bad things could happen to Alaska?

Wasn’t it as a result of Alaskan Sen. Lisa Murkowski honorably voting No to the initial proposal to debate the ‘skinny’ bill, saying she wasn’t going to be intimidated, and then honorably voting again with two colleagues, Sens. McCain and Collins, along with the Democrats against the actual bill too, on grounds that no-one had had time to read it and it hadn’t even been debated, causing it to fall…?

Or, it’s possible Trump is hoping for a first-strike on Hawaii, where the circuit court did so much to twice thwart his silly and inconsequential immigration bill; the only piece of primary legislation he has – in a watered-down form – been able to get through Congress in six months of shambolic maladministration.

Still mindful of Pearl Harbor, the Hawaiian State Legislature is reportedly making civil defense preparations.

Why are the Republicans so obsessed with committing electoral suicide? Is it existential guilt? No-one seems to know.

“It’s a deliberate policy of genocide for the rest of the human race…”

As The Pumpkin has observed before, the GOP congressmen and women are between a rock and a hard place. The rock being the Koch Brothers, zillionaire kings of dirty energy, who have offered ‘at least’ $400 million funding to the party for next year’s mid-term elections; the hard place being where Republican candidates may find themselves when the voters finally realize that repealing Obamacare without a replacement will leave 32 million hardworking American families nowhere to go when they get sick; which, as consumer protections, animal welfare and food quality regulations are pared back, and dangerous agrichemicals greenlighted, they are sure to.

The Pumpkin’s belief is that the Kochs, two avuncular philanthropic octogenarians in whose mouths butter would turn to snake venom, are less interested in the repeal bill than they are in the budget, debate on which has been held up for months while McConnell blustered and flustered over Trump’s furious demands to get Obamacare repeal done; something he promised his dumbfucks he would do on Day One. But then, he lied. So bad.

The budget is, if anything, more crazy and disgusting than the repeal bill, cutting 4.3 trillion dollars from all kinds of progressive social supports and schools programs and handing the lot to millionaires, corporations and the bloated arms industry in the form of huge tax cuts – an ultra-con economic model so fundamentally wrong that its experimental application has all-but bankrupted the state of Kansas; its failed Governor Sam Brownback, a man whose brain would struggle to get noticed in a peapod, has just been nominated by the mad President as America’s global ‘ambassador for religion’. So we have a prayer….

The energy bidness – fossil-fuel – already benefits from hidden subsidies in the US of $37.5 billion annually, giving the lie to all their executive whingeing about unfair subsidies for renewables, which are far smaller – about $10 bn. That oil, coal and gas subsidy increased by some $6 bn under the Obama administration, by the way.

And, let’s not forget, as former Exxon CEO Lee Raymond once said, US energy companies don’t really regard themselves as patriotic American employers. They operate all around the globe. The total subsidy to energy corporations around the globe is rather more, a little under $1 trillion.

http://priceofoil.org/fossil-fuel-subsidies (2013 figures)

But it’s not enough! Under the demented policies of the Golden Orb, the USA is going all-out to extract and burn every last drop of its own energy as quickly as possible, providing $trillions more profit for shareholders currently scrambling to build themselves climate-controlled underground bunker complexes, the latest billionaire must-haves, until it runs out; whereupon Trump will order his refinanced military to go out and ‘take the oil’ – the gas, or the minerals, from places like Afghanistan, until nothing survives.

It’s a policy of deliberate genocide for the rest of the human race. We have essentially been written off the books and, in their madness, it’s an extinction the money-breathers fantasize they can survive.

It shouldn’t be long now.

x

* Within an hour of The Pumpkin Posting this, it’s been reported that Priebus has seen the writing on the wall and quit. A career politician, he never did fit with the squabbling and chaotic amateur arselickers of Trump’s inspirational cabinet, the Wall Street Kids. Having been hired as a biddable missing link with conventional politics on the Hill, he was bound to end up as the fall guy for Trump’s humiliating failure to get any of his crazed legislative program through before the recess.

Gen. Kelly, the Homeland Security director, has been drafted in as Chief of Staff. Good luck with that. He’s not a politician either, so Trump clearly hasn’t learned the lesson, that if you want to do politics, get things done, you need to be one of Them.

It’s beginning to look more and more like the end of the Weimar republic every day.

x

 

“And she was bleeding from the … wherever, you know?”

Maids in America

After regaling the Boy Scouts of America with stories about wild parties involving drugs and women on yachts, for no apparent purpose other than to illustrate his robust views on law and order Trump – who has an obsession with women bleeding – threw out a peculiarly disturbing image during another of his 2020 campaign rallies last week. From a report in the Guardian entitled “Scaramucci, one week in: civil war in the White House and an even wilder Trump”, by White House correspondent David Smith, Trump is quoted in a passage as follows:

In Youngstown, Ohio, he painted a lurid picture of “predators and criminal aliens” who “take a young, beautiful girl, 16, 15, and others and they slice them and dice them with a knife because they want them to go through excruciating pain before they die. And these are the animals that we’ve been protecting for so long.”

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/jul/29/scaramucci-white-house-reince-priebus-donald-trump

What could he possibly have meant by that little vignette, we wonder: who or what is he referring to? It’s not as if he gave chapter and verse for the reference. Was it something he saw on Fox News or, his new fascination, the teenage version of Politico, Circa – even Fox is beginning to let slip the odd criticism of the nightmare for America that is the Trump maladministration, while its ratings have been plummeting.

Trump has some curious psychological ‘tics’, one of which is bringing up bad things that happened without being prompted, presenting them as examples of his opponent’s behaviour, but for which he then transfers credit to himself. ‘Crooked Hillary may have done ‘x’, but I tell you, if I did that it would have been the best ‘x’ ever…’

We can only pray then that this unscripted reference to the torture and murder of underage girls is not something he knew about from past experiences in the New York underworld, where he reputedly got a kick out of mixing socially in the 1970s and 80s.

The Pumpkin was recently led via a link in a Comment to a web article created by an anonymous former New York model, or so the author claims, who has spent years researching Trump’s connection with the sleazy milieu of underage ‘Size-zer0’ models, many trafficked illegally into the United States by dubious modelling agencies linked with underworld gangs.

The resulting long article can be found on the Daily Kos website, bylined SwedishJewfish. It describes – and one needs to be careful here, although the report is sourced to other media investigations – how in the 1970s a Trump associate, John Casablancas, founded a new kind of modelling agency that was all about flash: money, celebrities, sex and cocaine – creating the public image of the ‘supermodel’ – and how before setting up his own modelling agency, Trump pushed his daughter, Ivanka, into a modelling career, aged only 14, through Casablancas’ agency, exploiting his influence in the business, despite Casablancas’ reputation as a serial abuser of underage girls. Casablancas later fled to Brazil, where he worked for a while as a property salesman for the Trump Organization.

I’ll just quote this short extract:

I was not alone in my impressions – others who commented on the Mother Jones piece (see below) and the subsequent coverage made similar observations. MSNBC’s Chris Hayes commented that Trump Models seemed to be borderline human trafficking, initially making the comment on Twitter and later on dedicating a segment of his prime time show to exploring the topic. Seth Meyers, for his part, did a segment on the MJ piece as well, comparing it to an episode of Law & Order SVU. While his commentary was cloaked in his usual sardonic humor, Seth’s disgust was evident as he wondered aloud if the prospect of Trump harboring sex slaves in his proverbial basement would be enough to make voters sour on his candidacy. At the time this story broke, I assumed it was going to blow up. I assumed that follow up reporting would be done, and it would become the major story of the 2016 election. I thought it might even open up a long overdue dialogue about sex trafficking, and how our broken immigration and criminal justice systems enables its existence. 

But that never happened.

No, but what did happen during the 2016 election was the spreading via social media of completely absurd, off-the-wall memes promoting ‘fake news’ slurs against the Clinton campaign (see previous Pumpkins).

One of which gained notoriety, when a gunman walked into a pizza restaurant in Washington popular with Congressional staffers, Comet PingPong, and fired shots into the ceiling, after reading online that Hillary Clinton and her campaign manager, John Podesta, were running a ‘paedophile ring’ from the basement

A space that turned out also to be ‘proverbial’… there being no basement.

Is this perhaps a ‘proverbial basement’ where girls were actually tortured and murdered, in Donald Trump’s fading recollection? Is it a case of ‘What did you know, and when?’ Is there, in short, a basis in experience for his psychotic fascination with women and blood?

Or has he just been watching too much torture porn during the sleepless hours?

We may never know. The website Pizzagate.wiki goes into simply enormous and seemingly authoritative detail about connections between Clinton Democrats and their funders and various ‘known’ paedophiles and child-traffickers like Sir Clement Freud, Jimmy Savile and the owner of the Comet PingPong restaurant, James Alefantis, yet is mysteriously completely silent on the subject of Mr Casablancas and Trump Model Management.

http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/08/donald-trump-model-management-illegal-immigration

From which, purely coincidentally:

“…a Trump agency representative who served as a chaperone had a bedroom to herself on the ground floor of the building. A narrow flight of stairs led down to the basement, where the models lived in two small bedrooms that were crammed with bunk beds…”

xFrom which,

Where’s Wendi Deng?

Missing from the photo op below is the ex- Mrs Murdoch, queen of the political pajama parties. (Only joking.)

Of course, with the failure of the replacement healthcare act and even the ‘skinny repeal’ bill, whereby lifting the requirement for all Americans over 25 to carry basic insurance and for employers of more than 50 staff to make contributions would have taken so much money out of the system that premiums would have to go up sharply for the rest, the vindictive obsessionist Trump has decreed with his proudest and most marmorial Mount Rushmore face on that Obamacare ‘must now be allowed to implode by itself’.

The bad news is, although he genuinely seems to have convinced himself with his own windy rhetoric that it was, it wasn’t failing until he came along. The good news however, certain Red Republican states will now feel empowered to blow the extra money Obamacare gave them for an increase in Medicare provision for the sick on sneaky, lying TV propaganda to get themselves re-elected. Obamacare – which took seven years to put in place in the face of howling Republican opposition and does admittedly need some tweaking – will wither on the vine, a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So nasty, these Republicans. So ugly. Twisted.

Sen. Jack Fart ‘n’ hold  is on the right of your picture, in the blue onesie.

If proof of upright, responsible, Republican governance were needed, here is Senator Jack Farenthold, R. Texas, pro-repeal, pro-gun, pro-Big Orl, enjoying a well-earned moment of leisure before publicly challenging Senator Susan Collins, ‘skinny repeal’ recusante, to a duel – citing a historic precedent in which a former senator was tragically shot dead.

Mother Jones website, from where The Pumpkin purloins this picture, reports: “Farenthold … was once sued by a staffer for sexual harassment (the claim was settled outside of court)”.

Balanced folk must ask themselves from time to time, who on earth votes for these sleazy, fatuous, ignorant bumpkins like Farenthold, imagining they would be fit to hold office in a drive-thru burger-bar, and why do they? Their lives are never made better as a consequence.

And the answer comes back: sleazy, fatuous, ignorant Americans, who no longer believe anything will make a difference to their lives and don’t care. They’re the core base. There’s millions of ’em, and they love grotesque pork-barrel candidates like Fart ‘n’ hold; like Donald Trump, as seen on TV.

See, what a refreshing change he is from those corrupt stuffed-shirt bastards on the Hill!

Make America great again, boys. Yee-ha!

x

And finally…

If ever a metaphor presented itself from the heavens to perfectly illustrate the American nightmare, it’s the story of the Ohio woman who called 911 from her garden to plead for help.

A snake collector, she’d just rehomed a six-foot boa constrictor. Now it was wrapped around her face, squeezing hard, and wouldn’t let go of biting her nose.

Unlike the Republican party, the fire service had the right idea.

They cut its head off.

Spring is bustin’ out all over: 2017 nature survey. Plus: We want our bins emptied: the hidden undercurrents of UK foreign policy.

A feeling you’re being swallowed-up by Nature

“It’s a landscape that would have set a writer like JG Ballard thinking.”

Hi.

Look, I know you’re probably not reading this. You’d rather be reading those old stories about the ill-fated Comex 2 expedition, or How to Live in a Stately Home, basically by becoming a desperately underpaid caretaker, that I Posted years ago.

But I need your help.

Wherever you live, and you should know, I’d like you to just take a few seconds next time you’re out on a walk in some countryside, assuming you don’t live in a city or a desert, to look around and tell me if you’ve ever seen so much spring growth, looking so healthy?

Because I’m well on in my seventh decade and I can honestly say, my walks with Hunzi are getting like we’re being swallowed-up by Nature. One day soon we might go out and never find our way home!

I try to tell people, but they just shrug and hurry on by, staring at the ground – hopefully, to avoid treading on snails.

I was born and raised in the city, but for the past 32 years I’ve lived either deep in, or right on the edge of, the west British countryside, where for some years I worked as a gardener and estate manager.

My location is only a couple of miles from the sea, where nothing is ever taken to extremes other than sometimes Atlantic storm fronts that come sweeping through, the tails of old Gulf hurricanes, in recent years with increasing violence; although this year I remember only one called Brian. It’s Goldilocks country: seldom too warm, never too cold. Never too sunny, seldom too wet. Perfect!

Bracken up to my shoulders – in early June (there’s a railway behind the gate, I think).

Over the past few years, however, I’ve noticed it’s been getting greener. Which is to say, there’s more vegetation coming up in spring, flowering or blossoming earlier, growing taller and more luxuriant; all tumbling over itself in the fight for light.

This year has been just phenomenal. It’s impossible to do justice to the scene using a cheap  cameraphone; anyway, in a photograph you’ve got nothing to judge by, no sense of time passing and little sense of scale. But I’m trying…

And so healthy! For years, our trees have been showing signs of stress. Ash die-back, chestnut canker, oak wilt… We’ve been hearing for a long time of terminal threats to the traditional British countryside. This year there’s no sign of those diseases in my local river-valley arboretum; no tragic spindly thinning of crowns, no sooty or powdery mildew on the leaves.

It’s frankly a little scary to see this and have no idea what’s really going on. There seems to be a lot more birdsong than usual, too. Nestbuilding started early, courtship flights in February? Maybe the birds can tell me what is going on? It’s even scarier that I don’t know anyone else who has really noticed those things until I raise the subject.

That’s why I need your help. Do please feel free to write and tell me if you’ve noticed it too!

My theory seems too way-out for anyone who doesn’t follow the unfolding story of climate change and what it is doing to the planet, or who doesn’t want to. I mention it, but they just look like they don’t understand, or don’t want to know. The weather here is so, well, normal, it’s hard to imagine what it’s like further south.

A while ago, I came across a mention of a report that said biomass – vegetation – has increased around the world by about eleven per cent since some appropriate time in the past, owing to increasing carbon dioxide – CO2 – in the air, encouraging plant growth.

Uh-huh, I thought, that seems to fit.

Mats of weed forming on the local river. I’ve not seen these before.

A little later, I read that atmospheric CO2 is now at 410 parts per million (I have no idea what a ‘part’ represents, by the way. I generally think in terms of measures as small: a large wine-glass, and big: half a ‘Wales’), about 50 per cent higher than at the beginning of the 1900s, thanks to burning oil, gas and coal; also, thanks to intensive livestock farming, which through the efforts of the intensive livestock farming industry doesn’t often get mentioned as the real problem it is.

A 100 per cent increase in CO2, to 570 ppm, would produce, experts say, about five degrees of warming globally. But much less warming, less than two degrees, might be enough to trigger massive releases of methane gas locked-up in the frozen tundra and under the Arctic sea. Methane, a form of carbon-plus-hydrogen, is an accelerant for global warming and it’s said to be reaching danger levels.

With a big enough methane release we could have a planet that’s ten degrees warmer by 2030, and that’s not survivable. Most life would go extinct.

Because it appears that plants can absorb only so much CO2.

Lots of supposedly reliable websites like the BBC and The Telegraph reported a while ago, research that shows plants are capable of absorbing more CO2 than was thought, and will therefore save the world. This sounds to me like one of those ‘fake news’ stories, misleading research that is put out by scientists and PR lobbyists working for the fossil fuel industry.

The helpful Skepticalscience.com website, however, paints a different picture, reporting that:

 “Too high a concentration of CO2 causes a reduction of photosynthesis in certain plants. There is also evidence from the past of major damage to a wide variety of plants species from a sudden rise in CO2. Higher concentrations of CO2 also reduce the nutritional quality of some staples, such as wheat.”

Shoulder-high clumps of wildflowers and weeds fighting for light

So, with reduced photosynthesis, do plants need to produce more leaf-area, more luxuriant growth, to get enough food from sunlight?

Also, says the report, more rapid plant growth requires more rainwater – not of the rapid, flood-everything kind we are increasingly seeing, but of the slow percolation, ‘little-and-often’ kind – and reduces soil fertility. It’s worth reading the whole article: Plants Cannot Live on CO2 Alone (skepticalscience.com/co2-plant-food.htm)

Other reports say 97 per cent (it’s always ’97 per cent’!) of warming to date has gone into the oceans, which has created different but equally problematic effects. It’s acidifying the water, killing the plankton at the base of the food chain that absorbs CO2 and produces most of our oxygen; causing sea-level rise through volume expansion, that’s already periodically inundating seaside communities like ours; and melting the polar sea-ice cover – which in turn creates wider ‘dark water’ areas that absorb more solar energy.

Another effect of the warming ocean is to iron-out the gradients between warmer and colder water. This has an effect on important currents like the Gulf Stream, which this year produced a worrying ‘cold spot’ in the north Atlantic; but also on the jetstream, the high-altitude, high-velocity winds that circle the globe, normally at latitudes defining the arctic and antarctic circles.

A riot of blossom on tree-high gorse.

In recent years the jetstream has been losing energy, meandering around slowly and allowing warm air to move into the polar regions and dumping frigid air on the USA and central Europe. Stronger winds at lower altitudes are creating bigger waves in the arctic, that are helping to breakup the thinning sea-ice; warmer water in the Southern Ocean is undermining the vast antarctic ice-shelves, causing them to breakup and disperse; meltwater is lubricating glaciers everywhere, speeding up their rate of travel and eventual disappearance.

Views of Antarctica are now, paradoxically, showing areas of the formerly ice-covered or barren, rocky land turning green with new forests of mosses.

So it seems we’re not going to win against the climate, and increasing numbers of scientists are advising us to say our prayers and enjoy life while we can.

But a walk through the magical new ‘subtropical rain-forest’ environment that is my nearby river valley, for however short a time it may last, is to step back into an era historians remind us was a time of abundance in the natural world that we’ve been missing now since our great-grandparents’ generation; and maybe hadn’t even noticed had gone by.

It’s a landscape that would have set a writer like JG Ballard thinking.

He liked a good apocalypse.

x

Google images ‘Vote for a harder Brexit!’ (But the Tories tanked.)

x“…it may very well be that one of the first votes in the new Parliament will be on whether or not to go to war once again…”

We want our bins emptied: the hidden foreign policy undercurrents of the UK election

It’s getting bad.

Extraordinary arctic temperature anomalies, smog-laden anticyclones, supercell storms and ‘polar vortices’ descending as far south as Florida and even the Sahara (it snowed in Libya!), extreme weather events have been creating widespread and costly disruption.

There can be no question that climate change is now a permanent feature of life on earth and, driven by a warming climate, is having profound economic effects everywhere.

Against this background, President Trump has signalled US withdrawal from all measures to limit global warming in favour of a dash for profits for dinosaur American businesses.

While peoples affected by floods can expect the waters to abate and life to resume, there is an urgent need to rescue those suffering from seemingly permanent droughts and intolerable heat, in which normal agricultural production becomes impossible. Tens of millions are on the borderline of starvation, their condition ignored and exacerbated by corrupt governments in thrall to the fossil fuel extractors and the arms peddlars.

UN relief agencies have been crying out for support, as the flood of refugees – those who can manage to flee – becomes a tide; and the food runs out. But the USA under the criminal ecocide Trump is deliberately witholding promised financial aid to the UN.

What is their policy?

Other Western nations, egregiously Britain, but including ultra-nationalist, Islamophobic countries like Hungary, are forever moaning that these people need to look after themselves, demeaning their status and cutting aid while continuing to exploit their fragile economies with inequitable trade deals, erecting legal and physical barriers to forestall the inevitable point at which we will have to admit our policy is to let them all die; if we do not actually have to massacre them ourselves.

Thus climate change is an urgent foreign policy issue for every nation.

An issue that played absolutely no part in the UK’s customarily insular and parochial general election.

Nor, indeed, did the coming wars with Iran and North Korea, as the situation in Syria continues to spin out of control, that are threatening to engage the major powers.

Unlike Britain’s after eight years of pointless austerity, the economy of a resurgent and united European Union is on the rise. After her failed campaign aimed at securing a majority for a suicidal ‘hard Brexit’ negotiation with the 27 remaining members, Mrs May will struggle to maintain a government that is sufficiently ‘strong and stable’.

And it may very well be that one of the first debates in the new Parliament will be on whether or not to go to war once again, riding on America’s coat tails.

A war we have already shown in Iraq and Afghanistan we are ill-equipped to prosecute.

The extra money that always seems to be found for absurd military adventures in pursuit of lost glories will, of course, have to be denied to the collapsing social-care and health-service infrastructure, the schools already dumping teachers by the thousands and cutting free meals, the vanishing ‘early start’ childcare and youth apprenticeship schemes, the failing universities and adult education colleges, the closing women’s refuges – the disappearing bobbies on the beat.

The vanishing remnants of UKIP supporters will of course be delighted, but with even Romania’s economy growing at twice the rate of Britain’s, and our currency back on the floor, there will be no more economic incentive for EU workers to come here. We shall become increasingly a threadbare industrial and service nation, as it has long been a fantasy of the Right that there are millions of unemployed but fully deserving Britons willing to step in to take up the slack left by the hoped-for departure of the beastly ‘foreigners’ who have been undercutting our labour market.

There aren’t.

Foreign policy is inextricably linked to domestic affairs. Chickens tend to come home to roost. Theresa May’s hasty and ill-judged commitment to the epochally dysfunctional and malignant Trump administration may also shortly become another issue of foreign policy, a diplomatic train-wreck with which her bumbling apology for a Foreign Secretary, Mr Johnson (newly reconfirmed in his job. Why?) will soon have to deal.

That’s if he hasn’t made another bid for her job.

Dumping Trump

US politics receives massive coverage in the UK during their election periods, but almost none after.

‘Mister Trump’ as the BBC continues to refer to him in respectful tones, as if his corrupt, nepotistic and thuggish White House regime with its wrecking-crew of unqualified billionaire appointees were completely normal, is under intense Congressional scrutiny already, after only four months in office; while several criminal investigations continue to draw ever-closer to the cognitively impaired President as the centre possibly of a ring of money-launderers, disruptors and foreign agents.

He has found numerous ways to piss-off our trading partners and defensive treaty allies in Europe, which looks to The Pumpkin quite like Putin’s strategy, from whom we are foolishly hoping to detach ourselves with the minimum of damage to our economy. Brexit has not come at a good time, politically. Without Trump, without Mrs Merkel’s Europe, that can ‘no longer trust’ us, we could be finding ourselves a bit friendless and in a sorry state of growing irrelevance on the world stage.

It is incredibly serious.

Congressmen, pundits and the ‘fake news’ media in America are all in agreement: it’s already much worse than Watergate; which, let’s remember, happened during Nixon’s second term in office – not within days of his inauguration.

The President has continued to bluster, to lie, to threaten, to (apparently) attempt to pervert the course of justice, to fire investigators, to attack the media and the judiciary, to ringfence himself behind a battery of lawyers, to fantasize about ‘tapes’ of his mafia-boss-style conversations, mano a mano – and ultimately to sulk like a four-year-old, in an apparent attempt to push the investigations away from focussing on him personally.

Why? What has he been up to? What has he to fear? Why would an honest President not welcome an inquiry into possible wrongdoing among his campaign staff, if the strong suspicion arises?

So toxic is the Trump brand, four leading Washington law firms reportedly refused to take his case. Building owners have been removing his name from the facades of their Trump-sponsored hotels. He cannot find candidates to fill the more-than 500 vacant senior posts in various government agencies. Several of his closest aides have been implicated in the FBI’s investigations, even his son-in-law ‘Mister Kushner’ the ‘successful property developer’ who owes a billion dollars; and are under investigation for possible espionage, sanctions-busting and money-laundering, that is even now reaching out to figures in the UK with links to UKIP and the Leave campaign.

And like NATO, Trump doesn’t pay his bills – or his contractors. He is facing a mountain of lawsuits from aggrieved creditors; investigations are also ongoing into his possible misuse of private tax-exempt charity funds and his ‘Trump University’ scam; while he owes hundreds of millions of dollars, maybe billions, to foreign banks including sanctioned Russian banks, American banks having refused to lend him money for many years since he gained a reputation for suing banks when they asked for repayment.

And he is reportedly connected with wealthy oligarchs who may have found his particular business model helpful in managing their money. He seems vulnerable to pressure on many fronts.

There’s the in-fighting in the Oval Office.

Did Steve Bannon leak to the New York Times, the story that Kushner had meetings, first with Russian ambassador Kislyak and, shortly after, with the head of the VEB Bank – a Russian bank linked both to Putin and the FSB security service – who flew in specially for the meeting; and that he owes money to twenty banks? Kushner failed to declare the meetings on his security clearance form and dad-in-law has seemingly kicked him into the long grass over it, putting Bannon back at the centre of his advisory team.

Many of Trump’s speeches, policy statements and presidential ‘executive orders’ appear to support the theory that he is somehow beholden to, or in the pay of, President Putin; an idea that he has furiously denied in many seemingly self-incriminating tweets. He continues despite widespread criticism to give the impression of promoting Russia’s foreign-policy ambitions over those of the United States, and refuses to say a bad word about Mr Putin. Why? What is the connection? He refuses to say. He is certainly beholden to US energy billionaires and has made a frenzied assault on environmental protections.

Why, the Senate is demanding to know, did he meet with top Russian officials including Foreign Minister Lavrov in the Oval Office, excluding any US media from an unscheduled visit only a day after he fired the head of the FBI, James Comey? Comey now says Trump tried to stop him investigating his connections to the Russians; criminal interference with an investigation. What did Trump blab to the Russians about Israeli penetration of the ISIS network – a conversation publicly denied one minute by his security advisor, General McMaster, only to be admitted to in another self-incriminating late-night tweet the next?

Why did he insist on even his Attorney General leaving the room while he apparently attempted to secure a personal commitment of loyalty and a public statement from Comey that he himself was not being investigated, under the implied threat of removing the FBI director from his position? How did he imagine Comey could have given such an undertaking in the middle of an investigation without it compromising any possible future evidence that might have to be given in court?

And what was the purpose of the many meetings and phone calls the intelligence services are sure his aides had with Russian agents during and after the election campaign? Meetings which they denied under oath, but were later forced to admit to? Calls, intercepted by GCHQ and other European agencies? Why the secrecy? Why the cover-up?

Indeed, it appears that, even before the inauguration, efforts were being made to undermine the Obama regime’s sanctions against Russia; while top officials such as General Flynn and NSA head, Admiral Rogers who were dismissed by, or under investigation at the instigation of, Obama following intelligence intercepts, were immediately re-hired on the Trump campaign and transition teams and have continued to refuse point-blank to co-operate with Congressional committee hearings despite being held in contempt.

Why? What is their loyalty to Trump? Or is it because they too are under investigation by the FBI and cannot speak publicly without losing some promised immunity they may have been offered from prosecution? All the material has been handed over to special prosecutor Mueller; yet the Justice department refuses to confirm or deny that Mueller himself could, in theory, be answerable to the President for his job.

Why has Mr Trump not yet replaced the 47 circuit court judges he ‘retired’, some of whom were reportedly looking into his affairs; why did he fire Sally Yates, the acting Attorney General, immediately after she had warned his White House counsel about the concerns of the intelligence community, specifically about his National Security Advisor, General Flynn, and his connections with Russia? Why, having fired him too, does he continue to try to rescue Flynn from the investigation?

Why, having been forced to recuse himself from any Russia-connected inquiries after lying several times on oath about his meetings with Russian officials, is Attorney General Jeff Sessions still in his job as the head of the Justice department; and how then did he apparently have a hand in the firing of Comey?

It is all incredibly serious.

The talk is of enforced resignation, possibly on grounds of mental ill-health. Senator Al Green of Texas is a black man, and a Democrat, and is therefore suffering a social media shitstorm of threatened lynchings and rapes of himself and his family by Trump’s crazier dumbfucks, but yesterday he announced he was drafting articles of impeachment.

However, Trump is protected against most criminal indictments – even for betraying classified information to a foreign power, which he has now done three times, claiming executive privilege – as long as he is still in office.

So there’s a long way to go before Trump is dragged kicking, screaming and tweeting infantile nonsense from behind his desk and admitted to a secure facility. Throughout his business career he has been suspected and accused of criminal wrongdoing and having deep connections with international crime syndicates – Dark Money – and the vastly wealthy and corrupt individuals who run them from the shadows.

The ‘evidence’ is to be found all over the internet, in the form of perfectly serious media investigations.

So counter-litigious is Trump, so manipulative, that nothing has ever stuck.

Maybe getting himself elected President, with or without overseas aid, will save him; maybe it will be his Nemesis.

Either way, Britain’s ‘special relationship’ with America will be sorely tested, as it becomes clear his promises on trade are not worth the paper – remember: ‘America First!’ – and he drags us into military intervention on a dangerous path to a new world war.

So you see, foreign policy is not something politicians should ignore at election time.

But, who cares?

We want our bins emptied!

 

More weather news…

You might not want to be in Capetown right now.

After months of drought and water rationing in the city, a terrifying storm has battered the Western Cape coast. Eight people are so far dead. The storm surge sent seawater flooding communities hundreds of metres inland. Lightning killed a woman and three children in a car; and has set fire to thousands of acres of tinder-dry forest. The wind was strong enough to overturn parked cars and prevented helicopters from firefighting. Schools and a hospital are among hundreds of homes and buildings evacuated and burned down in the town of Knysna.

One witness said: ‘It looks like a war zone’. Another, his dashcam recording as he drives through fire, just keeps repeating: ‘Fuck!’

The forecast is for the storm to last several more days.

Raw footage and local news reports on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sE1-Pdl4sXM

 

The Boglington Post – A matter of belief; Return of the Teenager! You have to be Caracas – Police brutality, Quote of the Week, Human Extinction and more.

“A report by the Commons public administration and constitutional affairs committee (PACAC) said MPs were deeply concerned about the allegations of foreign interference in last year’s Brexit vote.” – Guardian Today, 12 April

A matter of belief

My colleague over at The Pumpkin has been struggling for two weeks to point out to anyone who would listen, basically nobody, that approximately two-thirds of the way through the Congressional Intelligence Committee hearing on 20 March, a brief and apparently unnoticed exchange took place between the Ranking Democrat, Adam Schiff and FBI Director, James Comey.

As I can’t summon the energy to sit through five hours of video coverage again, I’ll paraphrase:

Do you believe the Russians could have interfered with other elections (than the US election), such as in Europe or with Brexit? asked Schiff. Yes Sir, I do, replied Comey.

The exchange has not been reported anywhere in the British media.

Now, anyone could say what they ‘believe’. Christians and Muslims have detailed theories about all sorts of things that aren’t objectively true, but which form the basis of a belief system that extends to the entire cultural context of their lives and even to honor killings, acid attacks on women, terrorism and internecine warfare.

The Director of the FBI, by contrast, has to be someone whose logic is a bit more remorseless and factual than merely extending to a fervent belief, for instance that the biological offspring of the Creator of the universe, born of a virgin on Christmas Day, was executed, rose from the dead and walked on water.

(A recent poll in fact showed that only 17% of a sample of 2,000 British adults believe in the literal truth of the resurrection. The number rises to 50% in the case of professed Christians.)

When the Director of the FBI says he ‘believes’ something, he is exploiting a euphemism. Packed into that one word is a world of secret knowledge, of informers and researchers, of cyber-security experts, of tappings and snoopings and hackings and interrogations, evaluations and briefings, cross-referrals and triangulations, reports and filings leading to the establishment of legally enforceable hard facts concerning criminal or subversive activities that may not, at this stage of the investigation, be spoken of in open committee hearings.

Mr Comey had earlier confirmed by a complex series of signs, nods and winks and masterfully polite evasions that his organization is indeed embarked upon a number of separate investigations relating to ‘any’ communications between the Trump campaign staff and Russian ‘diplomats’ or ‘oligarchs’ – disruptive players seeking, the media surmises, to undermine the democratic process – if not also to ensure the election of some ‘useful idiot’ or compromised politician who will, directly or indirectly, further their hegemonic ambitions.

The Three Brexiteers: Davis, ‘The Doctor’ and Doris (r)

Who better fit the latter category than our three Brexiteers: Davis, ‘The Doctor’ and Doris, and their gormless Empire Loyalist, neo-Thatcherite henchmen (plus the odd useful female)?

What set of circumstances could better improve the opportunities for Mr Putin and his cronies to shore-up their borders with the European Union and regain influence over the border states, formerly part of the Soviet empire, even occupying territory to keep them from falling into the clutches of the evil NATO, to disrupt Europe’s security, than a good, well-rigged election?

Indeed, my colleague at The Pumpkin has also been speculating in every corner of the media, wherever a person of no standing can obtain a readership; and in emails to politicians, on this very question, a point about how and why the registrations database had been caused to crash 48 hours before registrations closed:

“…there were clues that a distributed denial of service attack (DDOS) using botnets – a network of computers infected with malicious software – was used to overwhelm the site… the committee’s report said. While the incident had no material effect on the outcome of the referendum, the committee said it was crucial that lessons were learned for future votes that must extend beyond purely technical issues.” (Ibid.)

What the report of the report does not however go on to say, is that a DDOS attack (and the sudden, unexplained emergence of what the Committee suggests was 500 thousand new voters, reported at the time to have been two million) was not the only possible use of botnets: for, as we know – there have been other reports that suggest this – the US election campaign was also marked by a surreptitious campaign of disinformation, using detailed analysis of individual voting intentions (‘data-harvesting’ from personal social media uploads and conversations) to target specific messages to potential opposition voters.

Were that to have occurred in Britain – and there are wealthy eccentric, Europhobic  ‘disruptors’ such as Mr Arron Banks and Mr Jim Dowson who have come forward to say that is certainly what they intended to do; also reports that a British company, Cambridge Analytica, allegedly owned by the ultra-rightwing US hedge-fund manager, the multi-billionaire Robert Mercer and his ultra-ultra-rightwing daughter Rebekah, hefty backers both of Republican candidates ($22 million) and the Breitbart News website, was engaged in just such ‘data-harvesting’ activities – then it could very well not be said that: “the incident had no material effect on the outcome of the referendum”.

That’s just wishful thinking.

Belief.

x

Life after Brexit

A Commenter on a Guardian news story about pension rights for British expats writes that he was standing on London Bridge with a female friend, an entirely English person, who happened to be talking on the phone in French to a colleague in France.

And a man came by and shouted ‘Fuck off back to Paris, you French cunt.’

It seems difficult and risky to move elsewhere in these trepidatious times, but I really don’t want to live any longer in this fucking awful dystopian ‘dictatorship of the cretins’, which these dogshit-ignorant arsewipes are so proud of that they cannot accommodate living on the same planet as, or even maybe being, someone with an actual education, culture or good manners; who might (but does not) come from 30 miles away across the Channel.

Do you?

x

Life after life

…it is evident that the maximum methane global warming potential temperature trend of 50 intersects the 2 degree centigrade temperature anomaly line in mid 2027 at which time humanity will completely  lose our ability to combat the earth atmospheric temperature rise. This diagram also indicates that methane will be an extremely active global warming agent for the first 15 years during the early stages of the extinction process. At the 80 o F (26.66 oC) Permian extinction event temperature line (Wignall, 2009), which has a 12.177 oC temperature anomaly above the 1980 mean of 14.49 oC,  the lifetime of the minimum methane global warming  potential veil is now some 75 years long and the temperature so high that total extinction of all life on earth will have occurred by this time.

2012 paper by Prof. Malcolm Light: Global Extinction within One Human Lifetime as a Result of a Spreading Atmospheric Arctic Methane Heatwave and Surface Firestorm (Arctic-news. blogspot.co.uk/p/global-extinction-within-one-human.html. Passage refers to a graph.)

The good news for millennarians hoping soon to meet their invisible friend Jedoof is, the process is moving faster and faster. The 2012 paper is way out of date.

“…a polynomial trend based on NOAA July 1983 to January 2017 global monthly mean methane data points at twice as much methane by 2034. Stronger methane releases from the seafloor could make such a doubling occur much earlier.” (Ibid.)

Mr Trump is very happy this evening. After three months of total fucking chaos and incompetence the more extreme elements of his military are now in firm control of the White House. The Pentagon has won out over the CIA and is insanely going back to dropping huge bombs on peasants hiding in caves in Afghanistan. We’re back to Vietnam: the theatre of war Trump avoided serving in. The US army is damned if it is going to forgive a past regime that let itself be beaten by asymmetricals wearing flip-flops. Now it’s payback time.

Having spent years criticising US military adventurism abroad and won an election on a non-interventionist platform Mr Trump is now entirely in favour of anything that prettily explodes, US troops being sent by the thousand into Syria, Iraq, Somalia, Yemen – a carrier fleet to North Korea, threats against Russia, China – a quadruple increase in civilian ‘collateral’ deaths from US airstrikes in just two months.

Let’s remember, the violence in those regions did not erupt spontaneously: it is the legacy of past Western interventions, and don’t let any conservatives tell you otherwise.

The compulsive lying old mobster thug, Trump has thus already laid the murders of many ‘beautiful’ children onto his financial crimes and given military hawks such as Mad Dog Mattis and HR McMaster their severely shaven, curiously shaped heads.

His knowledge of foreign affairs is clearly zero, his diplomatic service has been so hollowed out that he has no expert advice on traditional theatres of US power projection, no capacity to conduct diplomacy, and is simply making policy on an increasingly sick and senile hoof. He has done a 180-deg. handbrake turn on literally every campaign promise he made: maybe he just doesn’t remember what he said, and doesn’t care: the scam is going off nicely so far.

For God’s sake, impeach him. Arrest him, before the crazy orange fucker kills us all. What is the FBI doing? Why is it taking them so long, when everything is out there in open space for all to see?

Get on with it, Comey. Man up, lovely eyes. You already have enough ammunition to put him in prison for the rest of his worthless life.

x

More anon

Readers, Spammers, Likers, Followers and People No Longer Reading This, muh Bogl, will know that from time to time I wonder about why it is that some totally obviously spam messages get through the WordPress filter while thousands of other messages, some of which might actually be genuine, don’t; and ask why people are bothering to do this,  praising my stuff to the skies in an unknown language in which the words are real but the syntax isn’t.

Just to update you, I’m no longer getting messages from ‘Pussy’, my number one fan is now someone (or a program) calling themselves ‘Gay Porn’.

Does WordPress seriously imagine I am going to Approve any of this botty crap for onward transmission to actual humans? It must have a purpose, a function, a reason – but no-one tells me what. Who bothers to send this stuff, and why? It is not as if they are even after my bank details.

It would be great if you could actually talk to WordPress about it, but they also seem like an alien lifeform. I should write to Sir Tim Berners-Lee, maybe, and ask if he couldn’t go back to the drawing-board and invent us a new worldwide web, free from all this spying and passwords and Russian shit.

Postscriptum: RIP – The teenager returns!

Yes, the lad has returned, and in only five hours accomplished what I had not been able to face, or even to contemplate doing in its technological complexity, conducting the last rites for muh li’l Asus laptop thing, that fell to pieces after almost six years of constant hammering, cunningly transferring soft stuff and setting up magical things.

How do they do it, with no special training? I don’t even have to stick pieces of cardboard over the trackpad anymore, to stop the words flying about!

Consequently you are reading the first words sent   from muh NEW laptop thing, courtesy of Messrs Hewlett and Packard.

Congratulations.

x

“Beating and killing and jailing and torturing people is not going to put food back in the mouths of the security forces either, their moms, wives and kids.”

You have to be Caracas to work here

Demonstration in Venezuela. (Reuter)

A question I’ve long wanted an answer to is why so many youngish working-class men are always so willing to put on riot gear and beat the crap out of a bunch of unarmed demonstrators?

It happens everywhere. A demonstrator was killed in Venezuela last week, hundreds of mostly students injured, gassed, arrested and disappeared into police cells for some enhanced conversation.

The protests in Caracas against the presidency of Nicolas Maduro have a perfectly sensible rationale: oil-rich Venezuela is virtually a failed state. With the slump in oil prices, corruption and economic mismanagement, people are going hungry, normal household goods like toilet paper have disappeared; the shops are empty. Inheriting the downside of Chavez-ism, Maduro has no answer but a brutal police crackdown and blame the USA.

So these guys who put on riot gear and flak jackets and masks and helmets and throw pepper spray and teargas, rubber bullets and buckshot, shoot off water-cannon, they have families: mothers and fathers, wives and kids, who are all suffering under an incompetent regime. Their own mothers and wives are queuing for hours every day for a little overpriced bread and bottled water. There’s 1,000 per cent inflation: the bread costs three times as much by the evening as it would have in the morning, and three times as much the next day.

Yet day after day the riot squad is happy to be ordered out on the streets to brutalise other people just like themselves, their fellow citizens who only want better politicians to take over and put things back in order again, feed the people – not the leftwing elite holed up in the palace, in the assembly. These demonstrators are not funded by the CIA anymore, this is not a rightist putsch to get the landowners and the business community back in power; it’s a plea for social justice.

Beating and killing and jailing and torturing people is not going to put food back in the mouths of the security force, their moms, wives and kids. But the world over, it’s always the way. A brutal dictator – take your pick – can always rely on an army of thugs and goons to do their dirty work even at a cost to their own standard of living. Why?

Okay, the cops are getting paid by the government. They took an oath to support the State. But history shows that time and again, these revolutions eventually succeed in toppling the regime; usually to replace it with something worse, but change does eventually come; the shops do fill up again.

So loyalty to a lousy failing President clinging to office is only staving off defeat. The day when there won’t be anyone in government to pay the goon squads will come, and they will have to transfer their loyalty to someone else.  Even now, their wages are depreciating faster than they can buy stuff – even food to feed their own kids.

What is the point? What do they gain?

You’d think the police, the armed forces, the informers and the torturers would side with the people who want to bring about change, to restore the economy, put food back on the table, deliver a better life; not with an increasingly desperate and authoritarian President who has no answers to the problems affecting them and their families, and whose personal career ambitions are causing such great harm to the ordinary people.

But they don’t.

In country after country, decade after decade we see heavily armed police, paramilitaries, the army all too happy to go out and shoot and gas and beat and imprison and torture the very people who might do them some good.

It’s frankly inexplicable, other than in terms of the worst aspects of human nature:

They enjoy it.

“We’re kickin’ down your doors”. Welcome to Trumpworld. (A/G Jeff Sessions abandons ‘constitutional policing’. Justice Department says ‘anything goes’.)

x

“The dreadful reputation British soccer hooligans gained thirty years ago has never been allowed to go away”

Match-fixing

And in Madrid, eight Leicester City football fans were beaten and hauled off to police cells last night in advance of tonight’s Premier League championship match against Atletico.

Winesses report that about 300 fans were drinking mostly peacefully in a square where they had been told they could congregate, when riot police arrived and charged at them, hurling chairs and bottles and hitting the fans with rubber truncheons. BBC journalist Phil Mackie was on hand to witness the unprovoked attack:

“As I was talking to them there was a charge. Police officers just charged a group of Leicester fans who were, as far as I could tell, just walking past and chatting to each other. Three of them were pushed to the floor and hit with batons and bundled into the back of vans and taken away.” – BBC News

The eight arrested have been charged with ‘causing a mess’. Perhaps there was an element of retaliation there for Monty Python’s Inquisition sketch? Spanish police also claim six of their officers were ‘attacked’.

This sort of thing happens almost every time British football fans go abroad, however well-behaved and amenable they are. The dreadful reputation British soccer hooligans gained thirty years ago has never been allowed to go away and is invariably used as an excuse for police provocation, brutality and overreaction: the ritual duffing-up of the fans and the pressing of spurious charges has become part of the sport.

Of course, the roughhousing and  intimidation has only one purpose: to improve the chances of the home side by causing consternation, press criticism and discrediting the behaviour of the visiting team and its supporters, who can never win.

Cheating, in other words.

x

Quote of the Week

Mr Charles Chestnut, a Rochdale, Yorks. man who burned down his new ‘dream home’ in Wales after a dispute with the Halifax Building Society over non-payment of his mortgage, has been gaoled for five years.

“When asked by judge, Geraint Walters if he had any submissions to make, Chestnut, who represented himself, said: “I would like to go free please.” – Guardian Today

This surely ranks alongside the Spike Milligan epitaph: “I told you I was ill”, as one of the best victim statements on life that I have ever seen. And another I’ve just heard from theoretical physicist Lawrence Krauss, guesting on Sam Harris: “I get paid to hallucinate”.

The Pumpkin – Issue 12. The great wiretapping scandal: Pumpkin indicted by Grand Jury. Flynn-flam #2.

“Ya know, like this. “””Wiretapping”””. I speak, sick Black Satan listens. So bad.”

The President is really wired

It’s all my fault, as usual.

Several days ago, on or about 7 March, not long, anyway, after President Trump had sent his 4 a.m. Sunday 4th tweet accusing the 44th President of illegal wiretapping, and the FBI had said it was nonsense, I made what I thought was a joke. (It’s a habit of mine, I’m really, really sorry.)

I wrote on a Comment thread under a US cable TV story that the FBI must then have borrowed the UK government ‘listening post’, GCHQ in Cheltenham, to spy on the goings-on in Trump Tower.

I reasoned that, while it’s illegal in the USA to wiretap people without a warrant from a Federal judge or FISA, a ‘security court’ that handles this stuff, in Britain under the new Investigatory Powers Act – the so-called Snoopers’ Charter – brought in by former UK intel boss, the ice-woman Theresa May, it’s probably legal to snoop on anyone, anywhere.

Even your Smart dumpster bin is reporting your every movement. As for your microwave….

But I had no knowledge of that, it was just – I don’t know, a satirical suggestion – a joke. I watch a lot of clips from US TV cable news sites on YouTube. The more reputable ones, mind, not the crazies. Sometimes I make jokes or score points underneath. Bad (sick), I know. But I’m retired, I make my own reality.

And now there’s an incredible row going on at the highest level between Britain and America over sharing intel. We’re practically at war.

Hey, you know those cases on TV where someone goes missing and the police decide with no evidence they’ve been murdered, there’s no body, and they start a big murder inquiry, and the person eventually turns up in Guatemala unaware anyone was looking for them, after the supposed killer has already been jailed or worse? You know, it’s true, it was on, like, Inspector Montalbano or Murder She Wrote?

Well, it’s like that.

Here’s The Guardian story this morning, hold on to your hat. But before you read it, just bear one small fact in mind:

There was no wiretap at Trump Tower.

Okay, now go ‘head…

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/mar/17/white-house-will-not-be-repeat-claims-gchq-spied-trump-?utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=GU+Today+main+NEW+H+categories&utm_term=217901&subid=19570602&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2

You see what I mean?

And it’s all my fault. I am so, so sorry.

 

“The unravelling Press flack, Sean Spicer, crawled once more to the battered podium, wounds visibly bleeding, to defend his Master’s madness, seizing on a morning panel show discussion on Fox News as the smoking gun”

24 hours ago…

So, Mr Trump has been a chump. It seems that one of his staffers slipped into his morning reading – The Beano, New York Post, Mad Magazine, National Enquirer, etc., a page pulled from Breitbart News, claiming Barack Obama had “wiretapped” the Trump Tower.

Mr Trump immediately went cuckoo-shit crazy. Instead of checking with the FBI, who would have been able to carry out the wiretapping only with a warrant and would therefore know if Trump had been eavesdropped or not, and would have had to tell him, because he’s the President, as we now know, at 4 a.m. on a Sunday morning he Tweeted out, accusing Obama of a federal felony.

Breitbart had most probably picked up the story from the clinically insane InfoWars website of Alex Jones (who – genuinely – believes Michelle Obama is a transgender male who had the comedienne Joan Rivers killed to stop her saying so); who in turn had got hold of it from another crazed rightwing radio shock-jock and millionaire motormouth, Mark Levin, who seems to be the one who originally made up the fake news; although who told him, we have yet to find out – if it didn’t come from the White House as a distraction from ongoing investigations into one or other of the President’s many crimes.

Confronted not only by the FBI director James Comey, but also by the leaders in the Senate of both Republican and Democrat parties, and the chairman of the Intelligence Committee, who all said the story was complete bullshit and without a shred of evidence, Mr Trump, who can sometimes be a fatuous, childish oaf, but with tenacity, dug in his little heels. Were these not his sworn enemies who were saying these nasty, unfair things? Of course, their denials prove Black Satan bugged his office! Why, for proof just look to Fox News! The New York Times!… er…

The unravelling Press flack, Sean Spicer, crawled once more to the battered podium, wounds visibly bleeding, to defend his Master’s madness, seizing on a morning panel show discussion on Fox News as the smoking gun. Did not no less a personage than former Judge Andrew Napoletano just say that it was the British GCHQ secret spy headquarters that had conspired with the FBI and the demon, Obama, to (frantic air-quotes) “”””wiretap”””” the Presidential candidate? (He has already explained that the President didn’t mean “wiretap” when he wrote “wiretap”, he meant just any old kind of surveillance we might find evidence for, like sentient microwave ovens.)

Don’t all Hollywood villains have British accents? Case closed!

And today GCHQ has gone public with not just a self-effacing British-type apology for not being guilty of the crime, but with a full 32-gun broadside that has resulted in an actual APOLOGY from somewhere in the Administration and a promise not to do it again. How dare the Colonials make such a ludicrous and damaging assertion, that GCHQ eavesdrops on people! Nonsense, the toroidal structure is just an indoor greyhound racing stadium! A particle accelerator! A starship left over from Prometheus!

And if you think about it, which Trump clearly can’t now allow himself to, even if he had the necessary apparatus under the thatch, because he criminally  libelled ’44’, the previous POTUS; and ‘Judge Nap’ clearly hadn’t thought about it either, before he verbally retweeted my Comment, any such request from the US would have had to come from the FBI via the State Department to the Home Office and thence on up to the Prime Minister herself.

Of course, as Wikileaks tells us, everyone monitors everyone else’s diplomatic traffic.

But if the Prime Minister of a friendly country had personally approved an illegal wiretap on a US Presidential candidate without a reason, such as an imminent security threat to the UK, we’d be at war by now. And if the FBI had obtained a warrant from FISA, it could only be because they’d been able to present convincing evidence of serious wrongdoing. And if that was the case, they would have confronted Mr Trump personally.

So the entire thing collapses into a puddle of liquid shit, quite honestly. But…

Oh. My. God.

Did Judge Napolitano possibly read my Comment?

I was only joking, honest, your Honor.

 

Postscriptum

And now I have meanly Googled Hizzonner ‘Judge Nap’, and it seems he is a member of Ron Paul’s slightly unhinged Libertarian Party and the author of a book comparing Americans to sheep, in which he asks why they are letting the Obama government get away with trampling over their Constitutional rights and ” systematically dismantling the rights and freedoms that are the foundation of American democracy”?

Should be an interesting conversation with Steve Bannon, then.

 

Oh God, make him stop!

Mr Trump has finally met Mrs Merkel, leader of the most powerful economy in Europe, after a flight delayed by ‘less snow than expected’.

And immediately made a comment remarkable for its cretinous banality and diplomatic ineptitude: “We have something in common, we’ve both been wiretapped… perhaps.”

No-one apart from Trump and 60 per cent of his pet Dumbfucks – no-one in a position to actually know, that is – believes his bollocks about wiretapping by President Obama at Trump Tower during the election campaign. He is just obsessed with symmetry.

It’s an election campaign Orange Satan is still running in his head, obsessively over and over – to the point where he keeps having to go out on the road to engage with aircraft hangars packed full of adoring, slobbering, AR-15-toting millennialist cretins, angry people with Bibles and frustrated, weeping housewives dying for him to grab their pussies with his little orange hands – as he can’t bear knowing he really lost and has to find someone to blame.

The head of the FBI and senior Congressional leaders have all said they don’t believe it. There is no evidence of “”””wiretapping””””, as Sean ‘Melissa’ Spicey calls it, with frantic wiggling of his little chubby fingers. Challenged to produce evidence, after two weeks Trump has come up with precisely nothing. Nada. Zilch. He has had to row back on speculation started by a feral pundit on Fox News (or ‘Fake Fur’ as it’s known in fashion circles) that it must have been British intel – he says we don’t know that, so, ya know…. No, Donald, we don’t.

Because it didn’t happen, okay?

There is not a shred of evidence that Trump Tower was bugged – other than probably by Trump himself, on behalf of the Russian FRS (Bogler, you’ve been warned! Ed.) – other than an article in Breitbart News based on the ravings of Alex Jones, a congenital moron with a toy website.

Fake news, in which the paranoid and delusional President increasingly believes. (Or does he? It’s a wonderful diversion, is it gnot, from the many and several FBI and Senate investigations into possibly treasonous criminal financial links between Trump, his campaign people and the Russkies, the Iranian National Guard, Beelzebub…. )

Mrs Merkel however was “””wiretapped””” – at least, her official telephone conversations were listened-in to. The evidence – the complaint and the apology – is all there for anyone to see. Admitted.

By the CIA. Probably via GCHQ. Or lizards from the ninth planet, Nibiru…  (Just shut up, Bogler! Ed.)

She was not impressed.

* If you don’t believe in conspiracies, pray tell me how, hours after making that last facetious comment, I got a ‘recommended for you’ in the YouTube sidebar, from some crazies offering me documentary proof that Earth is menaced by the planet Nibiru? Huh? Is The Pumpkin being tapped? (It sure as hell isn’t being read…)

x

The Flynn-flam #2

And a new point of interest is set to emerge, regarding General Flynn’s relations with the Russians.

It appears from records supplied to MSNBC News by his agent that Flynn was paid $33 thousand for PR work – he claims, a speaking engagement – apparently by a defunct Russian airline in connection with the successful Russian bid for the Sochi olympics, in possible contravention of a rule preventing retired Army personnel from receiving payments from foreign powers without permission from the Pentagon. (That was when he was pictured having dinner with the Russian president, Vladimir Putin.)

During the Presidential campaign, it also emerged, he had been in contact with Russia several times, but had denied it when asked by V-P Mike Pence – for which he was later fired as Trump’s National Security Advisor. At the same time, his PR firm was also earning $530,000 for work on behalf of the Turkish government, requiring a special registration under restrictions on lobbying for foreign governments, for which Flynn applied only retrospectively. This was known to the White House, who then waited three weeks before doing anything about him.

It later emerged that this stuff only came to light because Flynn’s contacts with Russia had been under surveillance by the security agencies. Security agencies are by law only allowed to monitor US citizens on a warrant issued by a special court on the basis of evidence alleging strong suspicion of criminality or security concerns. But they can “””wiretap””” non-citizens, and as it takes two to make a conversation….

So what was it Flynn was supposed to have done, how if he was suspected of criminal associations or security concerns did he manage to obtain security clearance at the very highest level in order to become the man in charge of national security, and why did the White House and Congress approve his appointment seemingly without due diligence?

This information has been subpoena’d from the security agencies by Congress and is due possibly to emerge blinking into the light anyday now*.

I’m grateful entirely to Rachel Maddow at MSNBC for this story, broken yesterday, which I just thought I’d drop in here for you by way of a PS, on a ‘need to know’ basis, obviously, as The Pumpkin has previously shown an interest in General Flynn’s son’s PR activities in generating fake news about Mrs Clinton, a pizza restaurant and the worldwide paedophile ring.

From the ridiculous to the sublime, you might say.

*As of close-of-play-Friday’s deadline, both the FBI and the CIA were reportedly still refusing to release the information on Flynn demanded by the Congressional Intelligence Committee. A constitutional crisis appears to be looming.

x

“The logical concomitant of this crazed theory is that Russia could conceivably outbid NATO for the use of America’s gargantuan and overbloated military forces.”

Mr ‘two-percent’

Asked whether the US would provide military defense to Baltic countries if Russia were to attack, Trump said: “If they fulfill their obligations to us, the answer is yes.” – Trump, interviewed at The New York Times. Guardian.

So, this will be the first pay-as-you-go war.

“You pay us two per cent of your GDP and we’ll defend you. If not, we’ll hand you over to the Russians.” It could make for a very interesting geopolitical strategy: they’d defend England, for instance, but not an independent Scotland – unless Scotland were to stump up the cash and England not. They’d let Russian forces leapfrog over the defended Baltic republics that have paid, to get to undefended Germany or Spain that hasn’t.

What the fuck goes through this bizarre man’s mind when he wakes up every day, not knowing what day of the week it is?

The logical concomitant of this crazed theory is that Russia could conceivably outbid NATO for the use of America’s gargantuan and overbloated military forces. If Russia offered Trump more money, America would come in on their side and help them conquer Europe.

(Oh, did I just say something? No, forget it.)

Not everything in the world is a purely financial transaction, Donald!

It is quite astonishing, not that Trump is an ignorant fool who has throughout his wasteful, boastful and selfish existence paid no attention whatsoever to anything outside his own desperately limited universe of ‘deals’, shitty TV shows with lots of ‘pussy’ and tax-avoidance scams, but that even now he has been handed the most important work in the world he cannot be arsed to brief himself on any subject related to the job.

It turns out that he has actually believed all along that NATO pays America to defend Europe.

Which is why he’s been bitching for months on the campaign trail that too many NATO members aren’t paying their way, to deserve being ‘defended’ by America; and that therefore NATO is a bad idea and should be replaced with something else.

Like ‘Trumpcare’, maybe?

Since he hasn’t the faintest idea of what a treaty is, it’s hard to know where to begin. Let’s just say, I’ve bogld before that ‘two per cent of GDP’ is a meaningless comparison between countries, as each spends its defence budget in different ways depending on its perceived defence needs. I wrote in those terms, because it had not occurred to me that Trump actually thinks the money has to be paid to the US treasury, or the Pentagon, or Boeing or something, rather than internally within the member countries; and that it’s an aspiration, a target – not a price ticket for admission.

Britain spends approximately 16 per cent of its defence budget – in turn, theoretically 2.1 per cent of our £1.5 trillion GDP – buying arms from America. Much of the money is wasted, as we don’t have the homegrown technical staff needed to build and operate the advanced weapons platforms America supplies us with, and rely on imported American personnel operating here. And of course, there are US bases on British soil. Does that count as a plus or minus, in terms of our GDP?

The two new aircraft carriers we have been building for years at monstrous cost, vulnerable, slow and outmoded coffin-ships gobbling money stripped from the old, the sick, the disabled and schoolchildren, are proving a disaster in trials: the best you can say about them is they do appear at least to float. The new Type 45 destroyers, the F-35s, all have had major and excruciatingly expensive teething troubles. If the kit doesn’t work, is our 2.1 per cent of GDP being better spent than Denmark’s 1.37 per cent ($3 billion) – bearing in mind, Denmark is a third the size of the UK? Whenever you see a NATO operation, the Danes are there, with their horned helmets and their axes.

You see, our defence capability depends on what ‘two per cent’ buys you. It doesn’t stop the Government from running down our actual force capability to the point where the generals have been warning it cannot meet our overseas commitments and defend the country against our invisible enemies.

But at least we’re spending lots of money, showing our colours, unlike those lousy freeloading Germans. No sooner had Merkel departed from Washington with relief predominant among the mixed emotions she clearly felt at having spent a day with the most bewilderingly ignorant and undiplomatic man on the planet, the orange loon Tweeted in his familiar, illiterate style:

…vast sums of money to NATO & the United States must be paid more for the powerful, and very expensive, defense it provides to Germany! @real donald etc.

But the US doesn’t pay ‘vast sums’ of money to NATO, it doesn’t work like that! NATO is a treaty organisation between countries guaranteeing mutual assistance, not an independent military force like Blackwater or Boko Haram. NATO’s budget is just to keep a bunch of bureaucrats in a building somewhere and hold the odd conference. When ‘NATO forces’ go into action, as they have in Iraq, in Afghanistan, as they did in Korea, on the side of the Americans, they are made up of scraps and units from lots of different countries within the alliance; they’re not some ‘European army’ as he seems to imagine, that he is paying for, that needs bigging-up.

He has no comprehension of history or international politics. And if anyone is advising him about this, who isn’t being paid by the Russians to ix things up, then he ain’t listening. But he certainly understands the concept of gouging the poorest people in the country to bloat his own military-industrial complex, pouring cash down the throats of the global corporate arms-peddlars for the greater glory of Trump Family Inc.

The tragedy is, his many adoring fans will never wake up to what he has done to them.

You’re being Dumbfucked, America.

Postscriptum

And then there is the entirely believable story that Trump handed Merkel a fake invoice claiming $390 billion to pay for the past 70 years of US defense of Germany.

The ‘joke’ was to point up that Germany spends only 1.7% of its GDP on defense. As I’ve bogld previously, Trump believes there is an arrangement whereby every NATO member has to pay the USA 2% of its GDP to belong. He has no idea what a treaty is, or what the Cold War was about.

The execrably stupid Mr Trump is not only unfit to be the President of the United States.

He is unfit, period.

 

Job for the boy

I’ve just learned there is a Mr Skellytanne Conway.

Yes, Trump’s vanishing factual advisor has a husband. And he’s just been given a job on the Transition Team, or wherever the hell we are after two exciting months trapped on the rollercoaster from hell. So there’s two of them now.

That’ll teach the ‘Enemies of the people’ not to make stuff up.

 

 

The Pumpkin – Issue 7: The Rocky Donald Show: Tomorrow belongs to us.

“They all laughed at Christopher Columbus, when he said the world was round”

– George Gershwin

Trump reacts to poll data: False news!

And did you hear the one about Sweden? They took in so many illegal voters, they exploded!

 

The Rocky Donald Show

“I feel dizzy, with pain. Heavy eyes. Nausea. If I walk fast, I feel dizzy. Noise really bothers me. I have not eaten since yesterday (when I ate a salad) because I have no appetite. Sometimes, I forget things. The tongue is not always responsive,” she told a lawyer on Thursday, adding that she was being given Tylenol for her headache.

LOCK HIM UP

According to the fake news media, in this case the independently-run by a Trust and not owned by any special-pleading billionaire, The Guardian, a Salvadorean woman with an unoperated-on brain tumour has been kidnapped from a Texas hospital bed by Border police ICE guards and returned to a concentration camp preparatory to deportation after her asylum application was refused.

‘A doctor’ was found, to say that was okay. Mengele, something.

“Advocates for Sara Beltrán Hernández claimed that access to her was restricted. “In the detention centre as an attorney I have not had any issues accessing her. It was in the hospital that she was being kept secret and I was not able to access her,” (her attorney) said. “Two guards from the facility were in her room and ordered me to leave when I came, saying she’s not allowed any contact with anybody and that I shouldn’t even know she’s there.”

What the fuck kind of hideous American fascist dictatorship is this coming into being, where vulnerable sick people whatever their status are being fucking DISAPPEARED and nobody even their attorney is ‘allowed to know’ they’re there, and the People actually voted for the illiterate lying fat orange Nazi slug who has ordained this horror?

Yesterday Trump blurted out on TV in his usual delusionary infantile cretinism that there was ‘a military operation’ to remove ‘ the bad dudes’ – i.e., the policy is to deport convicted or suspected serious alien criminals.

Including innocent female asylum-applicants, mothers with brain tumours.

Mexico? El Salvador? Same difference, all spics.

No legal sanction exists for ethnic cleansing operations by the US military on American soil without a declaration of military law, which would be resisted by all right-thinking Americans. It is totally unconstitutional to use the military in this way.

And in fact they didn’t. It was just another fantasy dredged from the reptilian brain of this drivelling moron.

On behalf of the outside world, switch the Rocky Donald Show off now, America. Show you have at least one testicle in your collective ballsack, you cowardly gerrymandering Republican flakes, show the world you’re not going to roll over for this bestial demagogue and his criminal cabal, who have mounted a coup against your country and are sucking the tax money from ordinary Americans for their own enrichment, abridging the First Amendment while performing a sick horror show for the benefit of Dumbfucks with seven fingers who love the way he ‘tells it like it is’.

No, he tells it like he is. He doesn’t live in your world, never has. He’s been spawned by Satan, who has clouded your eyes.

Consider what happened to the actual Nazis. Your dads and grandads fought them and many died but ultimately they destroyed their evil empire. Wiped them off the face of the earth. That’s what decent people all over the world’re going to have to do to you eventually, and your kids, if you carry on with this charade, because charades have a habit of turning bad.

His team are under FBI investigation for potentially treasonous activity, not for ‘improving relations’ with Russia but dancing to Putin’s tune. He owes huge sums of money and is abusing the power of his office to try to make more. For God’s sake, doesn’t that tell you… oh, no, the FBI are also ‘Enemies of the People’, I forgot. Right. But, you know, it’s a federal crime to attempt to interfere in an FBI investigation? It’s a federal crime to lie to the feds. And he’s done both.

Just fuck him back. It doesn’t matter that he’s ‘the President’, that you have to grovel to his office out of respect for the American Constitution that he is busy unpicking; he’s a charlatan, an impostor irradiating your democracy with his toxic sludge. Don’t give history the satisfaction of having to explain him away.

Gone now.

Bye bye.

 

Visit: http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/feb/24/donald-trump-cpac-speech-media. I promise you, it’s a horror show. For even worse fake news, visit http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2017/02/24/meet-felix-sater-the-russian-bad-hombre-who-works-with-trump.html. You’ll need to read to the end.

Tomorrow belongs to us*

What is the strategy behind Trump’s Nuremburg Rally in Florida?

Does he really like to be down among the common folks only he loves and understands, the ordinary non-billionaire Dumbfucks and Betsy DeVos lookalikes, tired blondes who would never dream of counter-suing a bank for $3 billion, after a hard few weeks at the coalface of the White House, battling unseen enemies on all sides to do what the People voted him in to do? (Except for the five million invisible illegals, obviously.)

After four weeks in office (‘One menstrual cycle’ as Samantha Bee memorably put it), his administration is either in complete disarray, firing off in all directions, posts unfilled, billionaire cronies with no political experience or interest in their new offices breathing in his ear, security breaches, consorting with the enemy, policy initiatives either stalled or so bizarrely autocratic as to bewilder, public bodies and government scientists gagged, hundreds of staffers resigning, leaking, a whole Junta of superannuated craggy-faced Generals installed with their thumbs up their asses,  ‘Whiteyleaks’ pouring poison uncontrollably straight from the Oval Office into the media, dreadful incompetent spokespeople making conflicting and dishonest statements, ‘alternative realities’, contempt for institutions guaranteed by the unread Constitution, the intolerable public expense and disruption of keeping his family secure in New York and his weekly holidays promoting his Florida golf club*,  chaos at airports around the globe, migrants and non-nationals terrified, speculation among his own party as to the President’s mental health….

….or all of this is just fake news, a media conspiracy against the USA, you know who’s behind ’em, everything running like clockwork according to the master plan, all election promises being speedily fulfilled, immigrants’ butts kicked out, great people in all the top positions, getting it done, the project to ‘Make America great again’ on course for delivery, the ‘swamp’ being drained, Iran and China put in their place, Russia on-side, NATO chastened,  four more years in the bag….

Let’s say for the sake of argument you were an evil Nazi scumrat in hock to major international organised crime networks plotting to take down American democracy so your billionaire friends could go on raping the planet unhindered by annoying rules protecting people and wildlife, which I propose merely as the plot of the next Captain America saga, where would you start?

Why, possibly by completely undermining and subverting all the trusted sources of public information and replacing them with your own version of reality!

Science? So fake

So one of the first diktats to emerge from the big white building on the hill was to silence any information coming out of federal agencies involved with environmental protection and monitoring, and to gag government scientists, preventing them from publishing research.

This was followed by approval for the controversial Dakota Access and Keystone XL pipelines to be built by a company in which Trump reportedly still has shares; and revocations of other key Obama environmental legislation. An order followed,  permitting the pollution of waterways with industrial runoff. Another overturned the transparency rule for energy companies to declare payments to foreign governments for extraction rights. Yet a third has challenged protections for endangered species, to allow unrestricted hunting and commercial development of open range land.

What is going on? It gets worse….

Scott Pruitt, a climate-change denier with known proclivities for suing the Environment Protection Agency, was confirmed in the Senate on Friday as Secretary for Environment, in control of the EPA. His approval having been rushed through ahead of the court-ordered release tomorrow of thousands of emails he has been refusing to allow, despite many freedom of information requests, relating to his contacts with oil and gas companies.

Mr Pruitt was also Oklahoma’s Attorney General at the time of the botched execution in 2014 of Clayton Lockett. Lockett died in agony, eventually of a heart attack, after prison officers untrained in medical procedures battled for three quarters of an hour to kill him with the wrong anaesthetic, after the usual cocktail of lethal drugs had run out. Mr Pruitt has denied having ordered junior attorneys to go on the internet to find an alternative prescription without medical consultation, just to ‘get it done’.

America, can you not see who and what pondlife is going to be running your country from now on?

Combined with the appointment of the compliant southern racialist, Jeff Sessions, as Attorney General, it appears that legal challenges to the President’s powers – which, prematurely balding White House policy advisor Stephen Miller, 14 3/4, has been on numerous TV channels to explain, will henceforth not be challenged – can be stymied.

These are deliberate provocations!

The virulent attacks on the press started even during the campaign. Trump’s apparently deranged outbursts, absurd exaggerations, weird baby-talk, obsessive vindictive tweeting at three a.m. and his habit of insisting that he didn’t say the thing he just so clearly said, set in train an apparent agenda in the media to knock him down, that has been so easy to portray to his core supporters as a plot against America itself.

(If there is a plot, it probably lies in the numerous and frequent contacts Trump’s advisors have been having with Russian officials and his declared admiration for President Putin as a strongman who gets things done, even if it does involve killing people occasionally.)

By making it look like everything is terrible, so that the mainstream media will report that everything is terrible – the President is lying again, he’s mad, he’s illiterate, it’s chaos, a disaster – you set the media up to fail.

Then you go back on the campaign trail, invite nine thousand of your core supporters to an aircraft hangar, get a bunch of paid cheerleaders to have the crowd alternately cheering you and hating your enemies while you repeat slowly and clearly, over and over, using  fourth-grade language everyone can understand, even Republican politicians, dripping many checkable falsehoods along the way, that it’s the media that is lying, not the President, who loves you and wants to make you great again, only for those filthy traitors with their Muslim treason agenda getting in the way….

And the following week, you finally tweet that the media – and you name them one by one, ABC, NBC, CNN, ‘the failing New York Times – whose circulation has been building by the day thanks to the publicity – the Washington Post – is ‘The Enemy of the People’.

Straight from the Mein Kampf playbook

And what does the media do? Why, it walks into the trap, writes that the President is lying again, he’s crazy, thus completing the feedback loop that gives the President more and more power to destroy the credibility and reputation of the elitist libtard media as a (more or less, some of them) truth-telling unofficial arm of the State, by gradually building up a bedrock of supporters who will believe him anyday before they believe his enemies, because he says things that fit their gung-ho millennarian fantasy scenario; and let them spread the word.

All you have to do is tell people often enought that  the media is lying and corrupt, that tens of thousands of evil scientists, what do they know anyway, they can’t even agree on breakfast! are involved in a worldwide conspiracy to put up your taxes. It’s so fucking simple! That’s how you get the press and the federal agencies out of the way, leaving only demonstrable liars like Sean Spicer and Kellyanne Conway, Head Science Guy pick William Happer, Murdoch’s Fox News as the voices of patriotic truth and reason.

Of course millions of Americans are horrified.

They know it’s not true that ‘thousands’ of voters were bussed from Massachusetts into New Hampshire to vote twice for Hillary; and that ‘three, maybe five’ million illegal immigrants voted fraudulently. The actual evidence from electoral oversight bodies is that fewer than a dozen votes were cast illegally in the entire election, out of millions. But it took only one woman, a Mexican woman, to be found guilty in Texas of multiple voting and jailed for eight years, to completely vindicate the claim by the sinister trainee pantomime villain Miller that widespread voter fraud like never before in history nearly cost the President the election. And wouldn’t that have been a crime against the USA!

(Mr Miller has a known history of baiting Latinos.)

While the real fraud has been the ongoing ethnic cleansing of voter registrations by local Republican administrations.

But of Trump supporters, seventy percent polled now actually believe there was massive voter fraud by illegals against their man. That’s a ‘Movement’, as Trump and his gang have worryingly begun calling it, that’s becoming an unstoppable bandwaggon. As ‘Morning Joe’ Scarborough of MSNBC News put it, he’s known plenty of sore losers, but Trump is the only sore winner he ever heard of, continually re-running an election in which he can never forget he actually lost the popular vote; blatantly lying about the numbers.

But that isn’t the point.

Trump is not doing this for petty reasons, going back on the campaign trail to ‘thank’ his supporters by giving them another glimpse of the Great Leader, to run the 2018 mid-term elections and his own 2020 bid for re-election. No, it’s a brilliant device engineered probably by Bannon to set up a situation in which the Leader’s is the only voice the People can trust; they will understand that he has to get out and speak to them in person only because they cannot trust the lying professionals to report what he has to say accurately and fairly.

Because, as Bannon has said, as Trump has said, relentlessly: the press and TV News are the opposition, the ‘enemies of the state’. And if you make the lie big enough, and repeat it often enough, it becomes, as Joseph Goebbels put it, the truth. And it will be a truth that persuades a lot of people that they are being licensed to behave very badly in ways they’ve only dabbled with up to now. Minorities need rightly be afraid.

So what are the President’s opponents going to take from this Nuremburg-style rally, now they no longer have a credible ally in the mainstream media and can see that the balance is rapidly shifting away from the sources of information they rely on to get their own messages across, towards a tightly news-managed regime of hatred and division, of  no longer disprovable ‘alternative facts’ and contemptuous authoritarianism overriding a supine Congress and the courts?

Can you not see what this is, America?

You’re being fucked.

*It is said that the cost of Mr Trump’s weekly promotional visits to his tacky Florida golf resort, Mar-a-Lago, where he is blatantly selling access to wealthy ‘members’, already exceeds Mr Obama’s vacation travel costs for an entire year.

This doesn’t get better

I wrote that sub-head ‘Tomorrow belongs to us’ ironically, it was a Nazi anthem, but a day later addressing sieg-heiling Conservatives at the CPAC conference Trump announced: ‘The future belongs to America’…. He seems especially partial to bullshit slogans borrowed from the murderous regimes of the past, but the astonishing run of statements his officials are forced to deny just carries on.

Trying to watch MSNBC today, it was hard to concentrate on Ms Maddow when the scrolling news banner beneath just kept them coming. Trump has ordered the FBI to set up a review of the Federal laws they uphold, to see which ones can be scrapped. He’s announced ‘the biggest military build-up in history’ to back forthcoming unspecified but ominous sounding measures to ‘protect the American people’, and abrogated the strategic arms limitation treaties (dating from the Reagan era) by insisting that America’s nuclear arsenal should be expanded to ensure ‘American superiority’.

He is insane, a megalomaniac man-child made supercrazy by the power the Dumbfucks have blindly conferred on him to destroy their country.

You’re being fu-hu-cked, America.

Lying by numbers

As indeed are other countries:

Trump told supporters: “We’ve got to keep our country safe. You look at what’s happening in Germany, you look at what’s happening last night in Sweden. Sweden, who would believe this? Sweden. They took in large numbers. They’re having problems like they never thought possible.” (Guardian Today)

Ohmigod, lovely faraway Sweden! No! Say not Sweden, from where half the voters of Minnesota immigrated in the C19th! In large numbers!

Only problem being, NOTHING WHATEVER HAPPENED in Sweden on Friday night. Trumpy was making up facts. Again.

Or else he was confused: he is 70, after all. He’s allowed a little hyperbole.

Or there was a massacre but the treacherous lying media just didn’t report it, you know why. So fake!

Actually, there was a suicide-bomb attack by Sunni extremists or possibly IS on a mosque in Sehwan, Pakistan, that killed 70 harmless Sufis. Sehwan can look a lot like Sweden when it snows.

And, you know, Pakistan – that isn’t on the banned migrants list.

But hey, The Pumpkin is media, kinda. We have an agenda, kinda. So fake!

And does it matter if he was lying, or just mistaken? Even if only one crazed white supremacist supporter believes it, Trump said it, now it’s true, okay, and sprays bullets around a mosque, well, whose fault is it there are so many Muslim terrorists in the USA?  Obama’s! And you know what he was, right? A Muslim!

Swedes butter no parsnips

Now, everyone picked up on Trump’s apparent gaffe, including the Swedish government, who have written (waste of time – Tweet, ya wusses!) to ask what exactly he meant by it. If it had been Ronnie Reagan, I imagine, there would have been a charming apology, a correction, and everyone would have nodded and agreed that the President was a sandwich short of a picnic, but a cheery old cove nonetheless.

Not Trump’s people. They issued a hasty statement saying that what the President had actually said was that the ‘crime rate’ in Sweden was going up, because of so many immigrants.

Thereby shooting themselves in both feet, because that isn’t what he said (only Swedish white supremacists agree with him anyway), he said: ‘look what happened last night in Sweden’. He said nothing about the ‘crime rate’. What did he mean? Was he perhaps thinking of the massacre at Uttoya, that the unrepentant white supremacist Anders Breivik is doing time for? Uttoya is in Norway, same difference.

No, he said he got the info from Fox News, who the previous night had put out an admiring documentary about a heroic rightwing movement in Sweden in which two blond neo-Nazis interviewed had said look at the crime rate with immigrants.

The fact is that the crime rate in Sweden is actually going down from a peak in 2011 before the bulk of the migrants arrived, but that’s so obviously fake.

The crime rate in Sweden did not suddenly all go up ‘ last night’, rates don’t do that, a rate is a measure of increase or decrease over time, so the nunchuks* in the PR department are clearly dissembling, to put it politely, to cover up for a President who incessantly watches TV and cannot discriminate between possibly biased sources or be bothered to check with his advisors.

Trump’s press team are running around in circles shovelling up his droppings, and have given up the unequal task of balancing truth and fiction. But from Trump’s point of view it doesn’t matter. The Bannon Doctrine says that if only one person in America believes there was a massacre in Sweden on Friday night, and let’s remember, forty per cent of his supporters already believe Conway’s story about an unreported Muslim massacre at Bowling Green, Kentucky, that never happened – history will show the President was right and the evil media covered it up.

A Guardian report today suggests that core Trump supporters who were asked about it, already believe the PC media is refusing to report the massacre in Sweden, that the President said happened, so as not to make Muslims look bad. That of course might itself be fake news, in the world of infinitely regressing facts – Russian dolls – Mr Bannon is creating.

Can you not see what this is is, America?

You’re being fucked.

*Nunchuk: a flailing weapon used in martial arts.

 

Alt-correction:

The Pumpkin apologises: Trump was absolutely dead right about large numbers of refugees committing a terrorist act in Sweden on Friday, with events so serious the lying press didn’t report it!

The only problem was, it hadn’t happened – at least, not yet.

Three days after his Melbourne, Florida rally, Associated Press reported on an outbreak of street violence in a problem neighbourhood in Stockholm after police tried to arrest a drug dealer, in the following terms:

“One officer was slightly injured when a rock hit his arm and one person was arrested for throwing rocks, police spokesman Lars Bystrom said Tuesday. Some civilians who tried to stop the looters were also assaulted, he added.

“Another officer fired his gun, not as a warning but because he was “in a situation that demanded he used his firearm,” Bystrom said, adding “no one was hit.”

“This kind of situation doesn’t happen that often but it is always regrettable when it happens,” Bystrom said.”

The London Daily Express, that notorious alt-right, Brexit- and UKIP-financing scandal sheet owned by a former pornographer, bellowed:

“Sweden crisis: Police shoot rioters as violence erupts in ‘no-go zone”

“SWEDEN’S capital was plunged into chaos on Monday as police were forced to fire at rioters after violence erupted.”

According to other reports, ‘riots’ (plural) ‘erupted’ in Sweden… “Rioting erupts in immigrant-dominated Swedish suburb” said Fox News. The BBC ignored it as too insignificant to bother with; ignoring its huge significance in the megaphone politics of Trump’s America.

Most reports referred back to President Trump’s comments about refugees in Sweden, as if this vindicated his view that violence was caused by excessive numbers of refugees; although the Rinkeby neighborhood is one of those suburbs such as virtually every city on the planet has experienced since time immemorial, where an ‘underclass’ is trapped in a state of hopelessness and poverty and crime, and goes on a bit of a rampage from time to time to let off steam. It’s not the existential threat Trump and the Daily Express have tried to make out, there have been far worse incidents elsewhere involving all sorts of people, not just Muslims, even in US cities from time to time, Saturday night rumbles, that don’t count as ‘terrorism’.

For most of last week, for instance, there were disturbances in French cities as people of all colours and persuasions took to the streets to protest a violent sexual assault on a demonstrator kettled by police. Indeed, cars were set alight by protestors in Washington on the day Trump was inaugurated. They were not Muslims, nor were they migrants. The level of street violence displayed in Stockholm was pretty much par for the course and involved a petty criminal, some rocks chucked at the police, a couple of cars set alight, a couple of shops ‘looted’, and a single unexplained police gunshot that might have been an accidental discharge. End of.

On the insane and barely comprehensible, illiterate fake-news Infowars website of the crazed rightwing shock-jock, Alex Jones, we find this little gem from a Commenter:

The stories I have read online imply that the sub-humans rioted only because Trump provoked them!!!
In other words, it’s his fault for saying what he did a few days ago.
I don’t see how we can survive as a nation, with people here having these insane and suicidal thoughts.
And we are full of these types of people.

The temporal slip doesn’t seem to bother a lot of people who accuse the ‘libtards’ in the media of lying because Trump was partly right about something that hadn’t yet happened. That makes him a true prophet, right?

Nor does it appear to occur to Commenters like this, that behaving as if people from other continents are ‘sub-humans’ might sometimes upset them a little. Especially when there isn’t a single white person in America who isn’t either an immigrant themselves or descended from ‘sub-humans’ who migrated there from Europe. (It’s as if the Scopes trial never happened!)

It was pretty unfortunate, not to say convenient, that a bunch of local hoodlums in an uptown Stockholm ‘burb chose Monday to have a bundle with the cops, making refugees the hostages to fortune the rightwing media have been just dying for. Trump’s little British succubus, Nigel Farage has been quoted as saying another Swedish city, Malmo is now the ‘rape capital of the world’, thanks to the refugees. In fact, sexual offences in Malmo are also decreasing. There is no evidence this violence was started by actual refugees, but why spoil a good story?

Any immigrants will do.

America, please believe, you’re being fucked.

Let’s not be mean!

“I’m a great NATO fan” proclaimed Trump to his adoring faithful. (He has to be, now General Maddis has explained to him that NATO would be a good idea: it’s not just America protecting Europe, NATO Clause 5 guarantees Europe is also pledged to come to the aid of America.)

“But many of them are very rich countries and they’re not paying their bills. They’re not paying their bills.”

This, from the man who is reported to have defaulted in 2008 on $340 million of loans from Deutsche Bank, went bankrupt six times to avoid his creditors, including unpaid workers he ‘fired’, and notoriously is said to have countersued suppliers to his building projects whenever they pressed for payments they never received.

And what ‘bills’ is he talking about? There are no ‘bills’! Nobody sends NATO a ‘bill’.

There is an unofficial agreement that NATO members should spend two per cent of their GDP on their defence budget. (By contrast, we spend 0.7 per cent on overseas aid, actually helping people.) Britain is held up as a shining example of a wealthy nation that spends 2.1 per cent on defence, while perfidious Germany spends only 1.7 per cent.

That is because Germany maintains smaller forces deliberately so as not to alarm other European countries, for obvious reasons; and, being virtually landlocked, has only a small navy – and, crucially, no nuclear weapons, which are expensive. It also has a larger GDP to begin with.

However, look closely and you will see that Britain’s ‘2.1 per cent’ is made up of all kinds of barely defence-related items, including welfare payments to ex-service personnel.

So fake.

Where we are being good little boys and girls is that a huge slice of our defence procurement is spent on American weapons systems and platforms. Our equipment manifest, inclding ships, helicopters, fighter jets and so on has been afflicted with malfunctions, design errors, delays and procurement overspends; while a recent test of a (US-acquired and controlled) Trident missile went hideously wrong at a cost of £17 million and a lot of red faces. Thus our true spend on effective potential support for NATO is probably less than 2%.

“…the MoD spends over £16 billion a year on equipment and its support. Given this, it is a reasonable assumption that one third of UK defence imports may be re-exported, leaving the MoD with an import bill of between £6.5 billion and £7 billion. The great majority of this must be for the US.” –  Royal United Services Institute report.

So much for our contribution to NATO, a third of which goes straight back to the USA. Meanwhile, the 16% collapse in the post-Brexit Pound against the Dollar has added an extra £700 million to our ‘bill’ for imported arms.

Can you not see what this is, America?

You’re being fucked. As are we.

 

Putting it right

On a visit to the heart of darkness, Brussels, propelled by Presidential order, stuffed dummy anti-women’s rights campaigner and snow-capped advert for Saga senior holidays, Vice-President Mike Pence has ‘reaffirmed’ the White House’s ‘steadfast commitment’ to the European Union.

Which somewhat contradicts Mr Trump’s frequently expressed glee – he poked the wasp’s nest again in Florida on Saturday – that the People of Britain have taken back control of their country from the evil foreign globalisers in Brussels, thus ensuring the eventual collapse of the entire rotten institution of the EU and the restoration of the natural order of white people and the sacred borders of nations.

After all, he never says what he means.

We should have realised he was only kidding.

Fuckety-fucked, USA. World.

 

Hush, hush, whisper who dares

When his second term of office ends and he has to leave, assuming that at 78 Mr Trump has not, God Forbid, succumbed to any of the normal bargains with the Devil whose leases have run out, it might be amusing to speculate on the contents of his ‘Presidential library’ – the usual vanity accorded to outgoing Presidents, along with a security detail for life.

I’ve often thought about this, the security detail, I mean. An actual library is out of the question in my tiny house and anyway the shelves are rammed with jazz CDs – were I to be in the position of outgoing President of anywhere.

I’ve often wondered, too, where ex-Presidents get all the books to stock a library, or do their libraries consist entirely of photos of themselves posing like hunters with other ‘world leaders’ over the corpses of their human collateral, cabinets full of redacted papers, desktop doodles, short poems? No books? Or does a quick call to Reader’s Digest solve the problem, with their special leatherbound editions of condensed versions of the novels of Eleanor Wilkins Freeman?

I can’t really criticise the presidential taste in literature – in Trump’s case I would seriously doubt there is any, as he doesn’t read – as I myself have read only one whole book in the last five years. I do all my reading here on the internet; the presidential library by 2024 will almost certainly be held in the Cloud and available to all on Google. And I’m not that interested in whatever anyone else has to say, I find it hard to concentrate.

No, it’s the security detail I’m after. I guess you’d have gotten used to a couple of heavies in dark glasses lurking outside your bedroom door, eyes flicking from left to right and back,  for eight years while you boffed the First Lady or whoever, trundling around everywhere in a ten-ton truck version of a Lincoln Continental with a foot of armor plate while they cleared the streets ahead of you and posted snipers and anti-aircraft missile launchers on the rooftops of other people’s gridlocked capital cities, like a fucking Roman emperor on a triumph.

You’d miss it.

Trump, however, is reported to still be using his own private corporate goons, resisting the temptation to have the White House security detail perched on his running-board. He doesn’t trust them, I expect. And with good reason.

Almost the first pillar of the Establishment he chose to piss on was the CIA, allied with the FBI – whose desperate last-ditch attempt to smear Hillary with using her secure private email server on State Department business while forgetting to mention they were also investigating the President’s team for possibly treasonable links with the Kremlin hasn’t really saved them from his rheumy-eyed glare.

And of course we all know what happens when you upset the FBI. You end up with a special Day in your honour.

Which is why it comes as a breath of fresh air to see the President entertaining foreign VIPs at his Mar-a-Lago Golf Resort in Florida, Open Saturdays, All-You-Can-Eat brunch menu, mingling freely with anyone whose hostile government  can afford the $200,000 a year subscription to the members’ enclosure, making policy and swapping Top Secret classified policy documents over a light supper while wealthy, un-security-cleared liggers hang around taking selfies.

He really is different, isn’t he. Really refreshing. One of the boys.

Can you not see what this is, America?

You’re being fucked.

And not in a nice way. But then, many of you don’t care, do you. Bring it on! you say, your garages and cellars packed with weapons, bibles.

 

 

The Pumpkin – Issue 5

Senator Jeff Sessions: nominated is as Attorney General

Senator Jeff Sessions: confirmed he is as US Attorney General. Fear the Dark Side, warning I am you.

Funny Side of the Tweet

“How can (Trump) expect to escape ridicule? Being on reality TV is the closest he ever got to reality. His children look like a teen movie about Wall Street vampires directed by Uday Hussein. He has cultivated a square face that’s the shade of a banned food colouring and the muscle tone of a coma patient. He looks like aliens came to Earth and made a human costume after seeing one commercial for a car dealership.” – Comedian Frankie Boyle, writing in The Guardian, 09/02/17.

Brilliant observational comedy, with acutely perceptive bits thrown in. So unfair. Catch the rest at http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/feb/08/donald-trump-obnoxious-karma-reincarnated-as-himself-frankie-boyle?utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=GU+Today+main+NEW+H+categories&utm_term=212406&subid=19570602&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2

(Isn’t there some thing you can buy, an app or whatever, that shortens your URLs to a few simple numbers and stuff? Haven’t I seen one of those?  ‘Cos you might have to key all this in one day and then you’d miss the treat.)

The problem being, the global shitstorm of derisive humour that has greeted the election of a man of whom it can best be charitably said, he gets away with it, to the highest position on the planet is just a waste of good jokes.

If he actually saw or read any of it, you might as well understand, he’s not going to change because of it.

He doesn’t know how.

 

DeVostating news

Trump-nominee Betsy DeVos has also been confirmed as US Education Secretary, apparently to get her case out of the way before the supine and terrified Republican party in Congress has to consider the case of ‘Yoda’, Senator Jefferson Beauregard Sessions 111’s nomination for Attorney General*, at which point all obstructions to Trump’s insane policy tweets and the US Constitution will cease to have legal force.

Mrs DeVos’ principal qualification for the job seems to be that she and her billionaire husband donated $22 million to the Republican campaign.

Betsy DeVos’ husband, Richard Marvin “Dick” DeVos Jr., is a multi-billionaire heir to the Amway fortune who ran Amway’s parent company, Alticor, from 1993 to 2002. Dick DeVos is a major donor to conservative political campaigns and social causes, and was the 2006 Republican nominee for Governor of Michigan.” (Wikipedia)

I wish people gave me  the nickname “Dick”, sadly my bank balance is too small.

Far-right website Heavy.com describes the inexperienced and demonstrably inadequate DeVos thus: “Betsy is an education activist and philanthropist, and she comes from the wealthy and politically active DeVos family”.

Note that “and”. Twice blessed. By ‘Education activist’ they presumably mean support for private schools for the wealthy and education vouchers for the blacks.

USA Today presented a somewhat different picture in October 2011:

“Amway agreed to pay $55 million to former distributors, closely oversee high-level distributors who run training businesses, strengthen refund policies and make other changes estimated to cost an additional $100 million. The lawsuit alleged Amway is a “pyramid scheme” — which was changed to “illegal scheme” in an amended version — in which distributors rarely sell products to outside customers, only to other new distributors they bring in, who must bring more recruits in to make money. New entrants, the lawsuit says, were “effectively required” to purchase products and event tickets from the high-level distributors.”

Now, my ad agency unfortunately attracted a client similarly in the multi-level marketing business, for which read ‘pyramid scam’, so I have some knowledge to share. Cabouchon sold costume jewellery through ‘downlines’ – the suckers who actually did the selling, who were beholden to other sellers back up the chain, and were unreliably  supplied and seldom paid. The company was owned by a stunning young German woman, six feet tall, raven haired Petra D., who claimed to have an MBA, although we found out she hadn’t finished the course. She had a lethal way of doing business, not unlike D. Trump’s: screw ’em, and if they try to screw you back, annihilate ’em.

When Cabouchon came to owe us a large sum of money, they threatened to countersue for loss of reputation. We hit them back with an ‘Anton Pillar’  winding-up order. When they issued a cheque drawn on a bank branch that had closed two years earlier, we had them. Actually, now I think about it, we should have gone to the police.

Anyway, that was twenty-two years ago, but it explains why I checked up on Amway, because they were notorious even then.

It’s said that Yoda’s nomination hearing was deliberately delayed so that, if needed, he would still qualify as a Senator to vote for DeVos, who was embarrassed in the preliminary hearing as she evidently knew not a lot about education policy, hedging her answers. American politics seems to be all about how you can manipulate procedure to deny the enemy. Except that one of her major qualifications to run the education system of the USA may be that she and her husband – they sound like the sort of couple you would develop cancer to avoid – own a business buying up and clawing back student loan debts.

As it happens, despite looking like he has an assfull of suppositories, the ever-faithful Vice President, Mike Pence, is said to have sprinted doggedly up Pennsylvania Avenue to throw his casting vote for DeVos.

yodaAnd today we hear that Democrat Senator, Elizabeth Warren has been BANNED FROM SPEAKING at the Sessions hearing by Trump congressional bumsucker, Sen. Mitch McConnell, after trying to present evidence showing the Alabama Senator incurred the displeasure of no less a personage than Coretta Scott King, widow of Martin Luther, over his attempts to have black voters removed from electoral rolls and to prosecute civil rights campaigners who tried to get more blacks registered; not a racist, just a Republican.

Ms Warren was silenced on grounds that Senators should not ‘impugn’ one anothers’ reputations, even in suitability hearings where it might be that evidence of past conduct would show a Senator from the Deep South, whose appointment has been enthusiastically welcomed by Mr David Duke, late of the KKK, was completely unsuitable for elevation to high office. (Only that’s not what Rule 19 says.)

King’s eloquent 10-page deposition was not even entered into the record at the hearing 30 years ago when Yoda, a pixie-eared midget, failed to get appointed a Federal judge, so respectful is the Republican party toward Civil Rights. In fact, Sessions’ only redeeming feature apart from the practised avuncular twinkle in his dimwitted old mint-julep eyes is that he is worth a mere $7.5 million, compared with the rest of the billionaire kleptos in the Oval Office.

Is anyone still trying to argue that this Trump administration is perfectly normal and not a bunch of lying, evil fascists?

Hell yes.

*Broken news: Yoda got in. Interviewed on TV, he said he was ‘interested in the rule of law’. Just as well.

 

 Lock Him Up!

“The controversial law allows for a minimum fine of about $1,300 (£1,000) and a minimum jail term of three months for publishing false, deceptive or misleading information on a computer system.”

The above line from a BBC story about a Tanzanian safari park guide who has been suspended for pretending on social media that a tourist made slighting remarks about the local people when she had in fact praised them to the skies just leaped off the screen at me.

Could the USA not pass a similar law regarding Twitter? It’ll be brilliant, honest.

 

Time flies when you’re having fun

“It’s really incredible to me that we have a court case that’s going on so long,” Trump told a conference of law enforcement officials in Washington on Wednesday. (Guardian)

What’s that now, five days? Let’s see how long Melania suing the Daily Mail for $120 million damages to her earnings potential as First Lady (NYT report) for stupidly covering the repeat of a retweet of a B-tweet from some teenage blogger in the USA as if it were a real news story, who may have falsely misremembered a rumour she might have had a mildly insalubrious past we daren’t even ask about, goes on….

Anyway, we hope she wins large. Fucking Daily Mail. Good riddance.

 

A Good Malloching

May I recommend a new word for Collins’ dictionary, you know, the one that races to be first every year to accreditate neologisms that ninety-nine per cent of the English-speaking world has yet to hear of until they appear in reports on a slow news day about, like, hey, here are some great new words everyone is saying, that’ve gone in the dictionary courtesy of Collins’ PR baboons?

“To Malloch” would be a verb meaning to embellish one’s CV to a point beyond completely outrageous absurdity; beyond Swift or Baron Munchausen, beyond even Terry Pratchett or Douglas Adams,  before landing a plum diplomatic posting to a multinational organisation both you and your political masters and their pals in the Kremlin  are pledged to destroy.

According to a fascinating fact-check in the Financial Times, Trump’s expected nominee for ambassador to the European Union, academic Dr Theodore Roosevelt  ‘Ted’ Malloch, claims to have been knighted by the Queen into the ‘Order of St John’. ‘My family call me Sir Ted’, he quips, merrily ignoring the fact that this minor honorific places him in a category especially created for foreign persons, slightly lower in rank than my Aunt Jeannine’s MBE for services to charity. A knighthood (KCB) it was not.

Video of a conference he attended at which Mrs Thatcher was the star speaker does not, the FT finds, confirm her referring at any point to Dr Malloch as ‘a genius’. Nor was he even entered for the Emmy award he won for a TV documentary he made.

Dr Malloch claims to have gained his PhD in ‘under three years’ when it appears from University records it may have been more like five (‘My thesis took a little longer’). He also claims to have ‘helped bring down the Soviet Union’ while in an ‘ambassador-level role’. According to the FT, his diplomatic role at the time the wall came down was as deputy to an executive secretary in the UN Economic Commission for Europe, a position from which he could only have driven to Berlin with a megaphone and shouted at Mr Gorbachev across No Man’s Land.

The Alice in Wonderland world of alternative facts could possibly find fewer richer sources than the colourful life of Dr Ted, vividly recounted in an autobiography, Davos, Aspen and Yale: a humorous and witty take on his life experiences in this unique and riotous account‘. (Amazon blurb).

WND Books appears to be what is known as a ‘vanity publisher’, in other words you pay to have your electronic submission printed with minimal editorial oversight, as the reviews on their website might suggest. ‘F. Skip Weitzen’, author of Hypergrowth, calls Malloch ‘the world’s best spreader of bull. Read it and laugh out loud!’. ‘Robert W. Patterson, columnist’, The Philadelphia Inquirer, regards his friend Malloch as a ‘Renaissance man’. ‘Prabhu Gupatra, Editor, The Global Indian’, writes, without irony: ‘Sir Ted is too young to be writing his memoirs . . . prepare to be astonished, educated and amused.’

In other words, the guy is a comedian!

For a good Malloching, I earnestly recommend you visit:

http://www.ft.com/content/239d378e-ee20-11e6-ba01-119a44939bb6

 

Easy Rider

Now to the latest Trumpery…

This is America’s leading businessman and Great Deal Maker, right? Yet the evidence is growing that he knows very little about business, especially the complex international webs of component manufacture and ‘just-in-time’ supply that make up the global car industry.

Otherwise he wouldn’t imagine that the simplest solution to fixing unemployment in the rust-belt of the USA is to put up trade barriers and tweetbully Ford into pulling out of a Mexico factory project. Running a global car business is a little more complicated than golf courses and vanity brand-licensing deals,  and does not include damaging your company’s profitability for ideological reasons, to fulfil one senescent self-proclaimed billionaire’s impromptu election pledges.

The President reminded executives of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle company at a meeting at the White House last week that President Reagan had saved their business by raising tariffs to protect it from ‘dumping’ by Japanese manufacturers in the mid-80s. It was an alt-fact (they might have realised!) supporting his thesis that the world is taking unfair advantage of the USA and he has to stand up against free trade and cheap Chinese imports (such as the steel he is said to use in his construction projects?).

The truth is that in the 1970s Harley-Davidson got complacent and was making crap products that wouldn’t go uphill, if they started at all, and leaked oil everywhere, and German and Japanese competitors had modernised and were walking all over them, and the probably equally unreliable British Norton and Triumph bikes had cornered the all-leather, middle-aged, 50s-retro-racer market. There was no dumping at artificially low prices, that’s a Trump fantasy: they just couldn’t compete.

Eventually, Harley started making better-engineered products and, with the help of some exciting drug-fuelled rock’n’road movies and broadening their product appeal with monkey-bars and psychedelic teardrop tanks,  regained market share. And that’s how it went with the US car industry too. For years, they confined their production to the US market and sneered at safety campaigners like Ralph Nader but eventually had to fit seatbelts and redesign dogs like the exploding Ford Pinto after hundreds of people died.

Then they had to persuade their cars to run on unleaded fuel because children were getting even dumber, and get rid of the enormous 8 mpg gas-guzzlers with 9-liter engines, huge silly fins and unsafe front bench seats (for easy dating) and soggy suspension ride, and start making compact cars and SUVs and hybrids, like the Japanese were; making them to last, not to rust.

Dumb old GM and Chrysler nearly went bust, but were turned around in the nick of time by responding to foreign competition and, like Ford, saved themselves by moving design and production abroad, buying out Mazda and Vauxhall – but the Wit and Wisdom of Donald J World’s Greatest Businessman would have us believe that raising tariffs on foreign cars alone would have saved the US car industry – for what? To go on making Havana taxis uncompetitively forever and the US people would just have to suck it up, breathe it in, and that would be great?

We’re facing a similar problem here in the UK. A so-called ‘hard’ Brexit, complete walkaway severance from European institutions, markets, standards, rules and business connections might sound like a great idea if you’re a Dumbfuck British Empire isolationist from Spalding, fed up with watching Romanian sprout-pickers working for fuck-all wages in a large field; or a Tory MP sneering at the metropolitan liberal elite from your country estate, running scared from the Daily Mail, but it shows you know nothing about manufacturing and marketing in the 21st century.

The truth is, Trump is a business dinosaur.

And Trump is also trying to take credit for a 227,000 increase in employment during January, his first part-month in the White House. Only, the figures take some time to compile, the date on which the count was taken was in December, eleven days before Trump swung the Electoral College vote and swore on two Bibles in front of an enormous unseen throng of angels that he was the best President, probably ever in the history of Presidents. Believe me.

Those were Obama jobs.

Doesn’t stop PR flak Skelly-tanned Conway from alt-truthin’ about that on CNN as well. Just doin’ her job.

 

The last word

Trump…continued:

“I was a good student, I understand things, I comprehend very well, OK? Better than, I think, almost anybody. And I want to tell you that I listened to a bunch of stuff last night on television that was disgraceful, it was disgraceful, because what I just read to you is what we have and it just can’t be written any plainer or better.”  – quoted in Guardian Today report.

And neither can this, muh li’l bogl – five years old this month!

Goodnight, God bless, and kiss the kids goodbye.

Photos: Google images/Lucasfilm. ABC NEWS.